0003.

Today I found out one of the coolest things about the library is finding things in the books there. I found flyers, receipts, bits of cardboard, and some other things.

I got some books today about poetry, minnesota, oregon, portland, and one called 1001 albums you must hear before you die.  Its HUGE but really interesting.

some of the ones I want to listen to, or have heard a song or two off and want to hear more are:

Run DMC: Run DMC

Bruce Springsteen:  Born In The USA

The Smiths:  Meat Is Murder

Afrika Bambaataa and the Souls Sonic Force: Planet Rock--The Album

Beastie Boys: Licensed to Ill

The Smiths:  The Queen Is Dead

Dinosaur Jr.:  You're Living all Over Me

R.E.M: Document

The Smiths:  "Strangeways, Here We Come"

Pet Shop Boys: Actually

R.E.M: Green

Pixies: Surfer Rosa

Daft Punk: Homework

Elliott Smith: Either/Or

Dinosaur Jr.: Bug

Sonic Youth: Daydream Nation

Beastie Boys: Paul's Boutique

Cloutcut: What's That Noise?

Pixies: Doolittle

Deee-Lite: World Clique

Missy Misdemeanor Elliott: Supa Dupa Fly

Pixies: Bossanova

Eminem: The Slim Shady LP

The Dandy Warhols: The Dandy Warhols

Pet Shop Boys: Behaviour

Lemonheads: It's a Shame About Roy

Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes

Alanis Morissette: Jagged Little Pill

Elliott Smith: Figure 8

Gorillaz: Gorillaz

The White Sripes:White Blood Cells

Missy Elliott: Under Construction

Radiohead: Hail to The Thief

the Darkness: Permission to Land

The White Stripes: Elephant

Arcade Fire: Funeral

Franz Ferdinand: Franz Ferdinand

N.E.R.D: Fly or Die

Kanye West: The College Dropout

M.I.A: Arular

Bands to check out:

Public Enemy

The Streets

The Beta Band

The Libertines

The Beta Band

Ozomatli

Liars

Devendra Banhart

yeah yeah yeahs

The Mars Volta

Rufus Winwright

Scissor Sisters

Amy Winehouse

Calexico

The Roots

Furry Little Animals

Ryan Adams

The Strokes

Gillian Williams

Gotan Project

Doves

Robert Wyatt

Goldfrapp

Spiritualize 

Cornershop

Tortoise

The Verve

Beck

Belle and Sebastain

Eels

Lauryn Hill

System Of a Down

Queens of The Stoneage

Air

Beth Orton

Death In Vegas

Moby

Le Tigre

Fiona Apple

Wilco

Main Street Preachers

Everything but The Girl

Ash

Blur

Liz Phair

Nirvana

Jarmiroquai

Portishead 

Tupac

Radiohead

Pulp

Oasis

Screaming Trees

Drive Like Jehu

The Smashing Pumpkins

Pearl Jam

Rage Against The Machine

Dr. Dre

There were even a few albums I already have, but here is my long term projct for the rest of my life.  Thank you rochester Public library.

0002.

dog of the day:

French bulldog. 

This one is named Charlotte, and she was rescued from an abusive home.  She is estimated to be 4 to 5 months old and already shows signs or trauma and insecurity due to her previous owners.

Ariel rescued her and Charlotte is now getting the love she deserves.  She also is showing a desire for attention. 

http://blog.philholden.com/2008/03/25/baby-french-bulldog-photography/

I was looking for a new book to read, and i found this photography book my mom has.  I took it out to school this fall but never looked at it.  It is really interesting.  I figured just because I'm not in school doesn't mean i can't learn.

It's called k.i.s.s. (keep it simple series) Photography. Tonight I learned about box cameras, pinhole cameras, camera obsucras or something like that, kodak, SLR cameras, and the beginnings of digital cameras.  I learned about lenses, viewing sheets, developing and sizes.  Professional photography and leisure.  I learned about photography pioneers and modern day breakthroughs and  development.

Pretty neat stuff.

0001.

Omaha

New York City

Alanta

Greece

SLC

Italy

South Dakota

Washington DC

Vegas

Seattle

Portland

London

Germany

Australia

New Zealand

January 25 2009. 21:30

I'm pushing the reset button on life.

It's time to spread my wings and fly.

Im ready to make the changes in my blueprints i need to make 

I'm ready to be the person who i need to be.

I don't need your blessings.

I just need my heart.

If birds flying south is a sign of changes:

 I WANT TO BE...

I want to be in love 

I want to be one of those people who is always reading a book

I want to be sure of who I am

I want to be quieter

I want to be more sensitive to nature and my surroundings

I want to be so many stereotypes you cant label me

I want to be someone people never forget

I want to be infinite

I NEED...

I need to learn patience

I need to learn to speak my mind in a more professional manor

I need to not forget the things I've learned

I need to not forget where I came from or where I want to go

I need the spirit or ricks back in my life

I need rules

I need to be a nicer person

I need to help other people more

I ned little or nothing more than what i have now

I AM...

I am surprised I made it this far

I am an open book if you care to read me, I might not be inspirational or moving, but I try to be real.

I am proud to say I've never strayed too far from myself

I am finally figuring out what I want

I am really lucky

I KNOW...

I know who Katherine Ann Fleming is

I know a lot of things I didn't know 12 months ago

I know it wasn't all my fault things fell apart so many times

I know it needed to hit the fan though

I know thats what made me grow

I know I'm really lucky

Paper chains 

a million little pieces

is a weird book.

yesterday was the one year anniversary of heath ledger's death.

:(  rip baby

you will always be william thatcher, the knight of my heart. <3

the more i try to avoid the internet

the more i need it.  It's like I'm an addict and it's my drug or something.  But the times i crack (no pun intended) and use it, are some of the times i needed it the most.

-getting maximilian's address

-late night conversations about life and the color of my recent friendships with Amy doll

-catching up with diane.

my favorite thing about my friends and life in general now is how i can actually feel the spirit when we are just talking about things--missions, writing the boys, growing up and getting married...

Thanks to summer 08 and Ben Larson I have learned better than to read into it too far, but i do know that the church is true and that missions are the right thing for my friends to be doing now.

And on the other hand, some things just feel right sometimes, I don't know.  I still have a lot I need to and want to do for me in the next two years.  It's nice to know I'm finally moving forward.

I always have my memories, and my ideas about life when i get doubtful.  

I think i was right :)

I'm glad that i grew up, I'm glad summer 08 happened the way it did; however, i never want to be that stupid again.  Sometimes the grass really is NOT greener on the other side.  It's perfectly green on your side where it's easy to get.  Sometimes even too easy which is why we overlook it and I'm sorry but i was stupid.  I learned now and I'm glad i didn't ruin things over it.

Sometimes you need to fall on your face to see where you are at.  I needed to.

i love everyone that helped me get this far and I am thankful for the true blue friends I finally managed to get, mainly Amy, Maximilian, Dallin, Kaitlin, Diana, Cody, and Saychelle, but there are also all the people who were filler friends.  not in the sense that they were fluff and don't matter, but in the sense that they got be through the rough spots and keep me going.

I think i probably own them the most.

thank you to everyone who never gave up on me and always talked to me and made me feel good about myself when i let boys or other friends take way more energy from me than they deserved.

If you never know misery you can't know happiness.

the love of my life

paper chains

countdowns:

Summer 09

November 2010 

the lovers, the dreamers, and me

I miss amy doll marie benkenstein, but i love modern technology that makes talking from 3 states away just as easy as is was talking from my bedroom to the living room in danbury manor.

I'm glad i finally found some people who are true blue, and amy and bob marley are most def right.

"Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you.  You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." 

I think i finally found a few, and they know who they are <3 

After looking at my last post.

I realized I really like words that stat with M and dont have any letters that hang down like g's and y's.  Like Minnesota.  Millenium.  Montana.  Millhouse..... those sort of things.

I started a song today.

I went to a youth dance.  lolz.  they havent changed since i was a beehive.

I just love being able to look back and see how i have benefited from the ways things worked out, even though at the given time it would have been easier and more desirable to have them work out differently.

I've pulled some pretty amazing things off for me.  I've learned a lot.  I'm just really happy and sort of sad all at once.  but it's the hopeful kind of sad, because i know this is just a part of it all.  and I know things are going up up up.

Minnesota.

the thing i love most about american apparel is that they tell you everything you need to know on their website to make their clothing, belts, and scarves.  The fabric used, the dememsions, even the finish on the edges.

I just love being home and having access to my mom sewing machine and sewing abilities again.  I'm lucky I guess.  My mom is crafty, and i inherited some of it.

P.S school has been canceled the past two days because its so cold!

hello friend. how are you today?

lately I have ben disappointed in:

the weather

speed racer

martian child

my room cleaning progression

I learned a lot about myself these past few days, like where my breaking point is and how much respect I have for those that are so much stronger than me.  God bless.

I wrote maximilian today, he needed to hear the latest happening in my life.  damn cat.

im starting my project

im cleaning my room

im finding/creating a mural.

im getting steps

im growing out my hair

im working out

...the mainland misses you <3

woke up.

drove my mom to work.

got ready for work.

job canceled.

straightened my hair too see how long its gotten.

its gotten long.

took the dogs out.

player with pinkerton.

took a nap.

woke up by pinkerton whining.

picked her up onto the couch.

fell back asleep.

woke up and called my mom.

roads too bad to go out to lunch.

made soup.

cleaned the kitchen a bit.

talked to amy online for hours.

went downtown got my last rabies shot.

went upstairs got antibiotics for cat bite.

out to eat.

saw my ex.

home.

bubbles.

wrote max about my cat bite.

bed.

I still cant believe how hard abby bit me and my mom last night.  Ill take a picture to document the damage done to my leg.  she is satans kitty for sure!

today we got a new baby gate for the dogs.

heres hoping...

Im not even going to make it through these next two years

tonight as i was playing video games and checking my e-mail, i heard the familiar sound of oliver crying in the kitchen.  My mom asked me to put charlotte in the kitchen  to keep him quiet, like we did last night--and it worked great.  So after charlotte had been in there for about an hour i heard the worst, most terrifying sound ever.  If dogs could scream like humans,  this would have been the most blood curtaling scream ever.  

I ran upstairs preparing myself for the worst:  "Oliver snapped and attacked her..."  but that wa not the case.  Charlotte had tried to squeeze thorugh the puppy gate, on the skinniest slot--the one right next to the wall and had got stuch at her neck.  She was freaking out and yanking her head around and trying to free herself, which only made the problem that much worse.  By the time I got to her she was already almost twisted over upsidedown.  I flipped out an started screaming for my mom becuase i just didn't see how her head could fit back through the tiny opening.  It was really pretty easy, we jus had to pick her up to the top where the opening got wider and pull her out.

To make all this a million times worse, abby was there in the hall with us, went completly ballistic, attacked me and my mom both so bad that we were gushing blood, and now on top of rabies shots, i need to get a tetnis shot.

I might not even make it to max's homecoming, but I will try my best.

today is huhot day! :)

Here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail, when it comes I want to wail MAIIIILLLL!!!

This week I got a letter from Maximilian AND Dal Pal.  Both sent me pictures too :)

I'm writting Dallin as we speak, and I already bundled up Maxy's little letter and sent it lovingly on its way.  Ima also write Taylor now that I know the secret ways of Mexican Postal Services.

So yesterday I had the overwhelming privilege to work at Mayo High School, and this, among many others, was one of the priceless conversations I got to hear.  I will first set the scene up:

There were 3 black girls sitting on one of the heaters in the foyer--the one the kids always sit on when they are waiting for a ride--they were all wearing either kicks or boots (with the fur) and were talking on their side kicks.

One of the three girls was talking on her phone to a friend and was trying to get a ride...

"Hey!  Where you at?"

"Can chu come pick me up?"

"Why you gotta be like that? I would never do you like that!"

"So you aint gon' come pick me up?"

"I see how it is"

She hung up (probably on them)  and turned to her friend.

"You think I can walk to my house?"

"Oh HELL no.  Your house is farther than the thing!"

So she called another friend.

"Where you at?"

"Oh Dang! get me an application!"

this was when her friend chimed in "Shoot!  get ME an application"

then they went into a frenzy about someone smacking their cousin and how she was going to beat her ass with a book.

god bless america.

I cant believe

no one has commented on my pictures of bull terriers.  they are beautiful.

these are prefect

Can I get you anything else... the heimlic?

was one of the many questions my family was asked today, and I would have laughed if I wasn't choking.  It was only ice, so i didn't need the heimlic--I just had to wait for it to melt a little.

Regardless it was still really scary.  At this rate it really wont even matter if im stil in rexburg when max gets home because I'll be dead.

Anyways, this is what happened:  We sat down to eat and were ordering our food and drinks.  Ice waters all around, pasta for me, pizza for christine, meatloaf for dad and roast beef for my mom.  The drinks came out, and this is where my near death experience  happened.  The drinks did not have straws, which was the downfall.  Instead of picking it up to drink it I just sipped it out of the top, with it still on the table.  That worked untill the water level got too low, and i started slurping.

"Did you blow your nose into your drink?"  my mother said horrified.

"No!  I just cant reach the water anymore"  I said.

"Oh, well drink it from the other side, with your bottom lip on the backside."  was her solution.

I was skeptical, but it worked--a lot better than i expected.  That is why i sucked water into my lungs and lodged an ice cube in my throat at the precise time that our waiter arrived with our food.  At this point i couldn't even breath and was about two seconds from throwing up the two buckets of pop corn I had just eaten at the movie theater. 

When i was gasping for breath and gaging, that was when the waiter finally asked if i was okay and if i needed help.

I really need my own show on MTV. 

BUCKET LIST

First of all there is all the obvious stuff,

like one day getting married

having a family

I guess eventually learning to change diapers and deal with vomit.

But, aside from all of that, there are the things I want to do for me, for my community, and for the world.

-I want to have a friend in all 50 states so I always have somewhere to stay.

-I want to go to greece, australia, london, italy, india, japan, canada, new zealand, south america, and africa.

-I want to die happy, fulfilled and accomplished.

-I want to read the book of mormon while i am home winter 09.

-I want to learn about the planets.

-I want to make a cd, write a book, and produce a short film.

-Go on a mission trip

-go to seattle, portland, boston, NYC, hollywood, vegas, and omaha

Marley and me.

Dogs are truely man's best friend.  I think the quote in the movie was something about how dogs love you no matter what, you can be funny or dull, fat, beautiful, smart, stupid, a dog is always going to love you; always make you feel important, special, pr unique.  No human will ever treat you that way.  The part I remember for sure is "Give a dog your heart and he will give you his back."

I fell like dogs have been on my mind a lot lately.  Maybe its oliver, maybe its the fact I still really miss zuzu, maybe its actually having dogs back in my life, i don't really know why but i do know that pinkerton has my heart.  Even as we speak she is curled up beside me snoring.  I love her so much; she has my heart, but I know I have hers too.

The Michael Vick Dogs

There is a special on TV tonight about the Michael Vick dogs that were rescued from his dog hell--okay first of all, he named his operation "Bad Newz Kennel".   A z?  Honestly?  Are you a 13 year old girl?

I think that people who use animals for their own personal pleasure, slaves, and entertainment are the lowest of low.  For real, betting on dogs who are abused, terrified, and trained to kill each other.  It doesn't get much lower...  I can't see why anyone would want to participate in that.  And someone running it... doesn't deserve to be alive anymore.

Seeing the ways these dogs act now around people and other dogs makes me want to cry, and seeing the way they were treated before they got rescued makes me sick to my stomach.  

There is so reason people should ever treat animals like that.

They were beaten and abused their entire lives, the ones that were nice and wouldn't fight were either used as bait dogs to train the aggressive ones to fight, or killed by being shot, hanged, electrocuted or beaten against the ground.

He should be locked up for life and go to hell.

The following images are not from a magazine, the internet or MTV. They were taken in a normal neighborhood, by a normal girl.

When I was in elementary school, I took music from Mrs. Sandquist.  She was.....unique.  She always out on the most.... extravagant concerts and recitals.  Ever.  Even though she is old as dirt and possible senile, she still dazzles the town every christmas season with a laser light display of decorations.

I also decided that this year I'm using my new years resolution as lent and giving up sugar, so these last few days i am getting in as much as I can.  Today I did great:  I ate mike and ikes, home made caramels AND turtles, junior caramels, and cookies. 

one good thing comes from being addicted to MTV...

There is this show on MTV called "True Life" which features people with something that they have to live with.  They use to have two episodes:  True Life: I have turrets, and True Life: I have OCD.  They were good, but they got old.  It was good, but it could have been ecpic.  that has all changed though;  now they seem to have a new episode every day!

The one airing today, december 26th, is True Life: Im Deaf, and just look at this precious little dream-boat.

His name is Christopher, he is 16 and lives in New Jersey.  He got a cochlear implant, so he can hear now--after not begin able to hear his whole life.  He is so cute, every time someone walks behind him, or sharpens their pencil he perks up and looks around--like a puppy.  He went to his girlfriends house and heard her say his name for the first time, his dad played guitar for him for the first time, he heard his mom say "I love you" for the first time.

I had the opportunity to work with a blind girl last winter for two weeks.  It was amazing to watch her go throughout her day.  I just think the kids like this who can have something like that in their life and still be so happy and strong deserve a shoutout.

move over Hayley Williams

Cassadee Pope is movin in on your turf!

Hey Monday is a cute little band from West Palm Beach Flordia.  They are known for their pop-punk songs such as "Homecoming" which is featured on the N between Moisha and Dawson's Creek.... I really need to start going t bed earlier. They seem legit, and wear cute clothes from Glamor kills, however, I can't shake the feeling I've seen this all before...

...Oh yea, 6 months ago when I was watching Paramore videos on youtube.

Well kudos on getting big for being exactly the same as the one other pop-punk band with a girl lead singer people care about.

I don't know where that came from....

Im also scared of these:

"you're scared of what?...."

Okay, no one really said that to me, but I did realize today that my current two biggest fears are pretty ridiculous.  And this is coming from someone who is scared of jack-in-the-boxes and clowns.

To date, my two greatest fears are:

1. Maximlian's letters getting lost in the mail

2. stepping on one of the hua's legs and snapping it like a glow stick.

Aside from that, today was Christmas and that means that the whole famdamily got together--at my house.   I really love the fam, but it kinda just makes me crazy to have that many people in my house at once--like its just too much going on....  I know I'm crazy.

For christmas I got

-Shaun White Snowboarding

-The Nightmare Before Christmas Original Soundtrack

-Gift Cards to: HuHot, iTunes, Old Navy, and Target

-Fudge

-Wii Music

-Wii Mario Kart

:)

i miss maximilian

i miss makana

i miss preston

i miss kaitlin

i miss amy doll

i miss mikyla

i miss dallin

i miss tori

i miss zuzu

i miss taylor syddall

i miss saychelle

i miss daniela

i miss landy

i miss nathan reagan

i miss nathan daley

i miss holly

more than likely i miss you too.

So while I was sitting on the couch--not even the couch.  While I was sitting on the love seat, I realized I was really bored: It was then that I remembered this thing called "second life" that Zach told me about; however, this entry is not about second life--sorry sac, it does look pretty cool.  This entry is about elder syddall. :)

So apparently to actually USE second life, you have to like register, and make an avatar, and activate your account through some e-mail they send you. I know!  ridiculous.  So, while I was trying to do this I discovered I had an e-mail from Taylor Syddall!  Yea, I mean who knew?!  I could have e-mailed him this whole time.  I didn't even know you could e-mail missionaries, but i e-mailed him last night, and i already heard back!  Take that snail mail!

I've been sitting here, trying to find myself.

And while I try I am playing pokemon snap, facebook chatting with preston, listening to music and eating an apple.  I don't remember who it was, but someone once told me that multitasking isn't real.  I do not believe them.

welcome back to home ward!

Going back to your home ward the first week back is the most stressful thing ever--to make it even better:  this was my second week back. 

SIDENOTE: we sang easter songs today.

I sat by the missionaries in sunday school though and shared my m&ms with them.  One is from Idaho Falls and one is from SLC.  After class they asked me if I want to go with them to teach some girls that are investigating the church.  I said YES!

After church I came home and took a coma on the couch, then decorated the tree. 

Thats about it.  Tomorrow I'm going to go to the post office and mail some thangs.

peace.

Saturday is a special day, it's the day we get ready for sunday!

Today my mom and I woke up early and took the huas to leashes and leads for puppy play time... which really consisted of a crazy dog named max running around and barking at everything and skidding on the cement.  Charlotte made no friends and snarled at everyone, and pinkerton got  a little discouraged after Max hurdled her.  

After that we went to Wal-Mart and Sam's club and did some christmas shopping and got some groceries so that we have some food in the house.

Then I put the lights on the tree and took a nap.

After I woke back up and ate, I helped my mom clean a little bit and then we made christmas treats for her visiting teaching girls--well, my mom made it.  

I ate some fudge, and stirred--a lot... So i guess I helped.

I packed up a tin of stuff to send to Maximilian--I want to send some to Dallin too, but I'm afraid they will confiscate it at the boarder or something.  There is NO way it's geting to Taylor so I'm not ever trying.  It must be really hard to be so far away from home for the holidays.  So hard.  I just want to help make things a little bit easier for them.

After that the family watched a movie and I played RAVING RABIDS with my mom--we won.  It was really effing cold, so we went in bubbles tonight--except for Christine, because she got her tonsils out yesterday.  

Minnesota, Idaho, Hawaii.

Oh. 

My.

Gosh.

Kill me.

I never want to fly again.  

ever.  

I will swim to hawaii, london or any other location across the sea I may visit throughout my life.

I will gladly drive from minnesota to idaho and back each semester.... (I'd actually prefer that)

I know that i am far from rational, but just her me out on this claim:

First of all we got to the air-port about 10 minutes before our flight was supposed to take off due to a blizzard.  I am so proud of Sheila though,  she drove throuh that storm like a CHAMP! This delay however, resulted in my baggage being "late check"--whatever that means-- and one of my bags not making it to Minnesota. Not happy.

This is just the tip of the ice berg.  

Once we finally got checked in and got through customs, we had to wait about 20 minutes before they let us on the plane; the entire time we waited we listened to the announcements on the PA system that they needed SEVENTEEN people from my flight to bump and take later flights. eff that.   Not happy.  

So after they finally let us onto the plane they threatened us by saying "If two people don't get off this plane right now we are going to cancel the flight."  I guess the luggage and everything was too heavy for the baby plane we were flying on.  This batch even got on and started yelling.  I don't remember much else after that because I fell asleep and woke up an hour and a half later to find us on the ground.... still in IDAHO.  Not happy.....I was not in a good mood that day.

Long story short:  we FIANLLY got home, my lost bag was eventually recovered, and we got a new dog. Oliver.  He is a rescue dog and he is reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally shy.

On the bright side, I had a letter from Max waiting at my house when I got home and it was really nice to hear from him.  It was pretty much exactly what I would have expected from him and really precious.  

He left for hawaii today.

I hope his flight goes better than mine did.

I miss him.

Idaho is never easy to leave.  This semester I almost cried when I had to say bye to Makana.  

He's just been such a good buddy to me this semester:  when other people were being cray,  when I just couldn't be in the house any longer, when Zuzu got worse, whan I was being cray, when I was sick, when I just really needed a hug...... he's just so solid.  I miss baby Makana so much.

I miss the family even though I never saw any of them.  I miss my roommates and Amy talking to me about being Lava Lamps and how much I miss Max and stars and bats and everything else I talked about.

I Miss Kaiter Tot even though she will be home in like 5 days.

I miss Mikyla, Marlene, T-Dicks, my math row, and the girl I sat beside in Family History, Karlee, and the girls who sat behind me in math, and my ward, and the bishop......

I love you Rexburg.

the storm is upon us.

Today I had to go in and get my second round of rabies shots, at least it was only one tonight, and it was hot pink.  The nurse was really funny and asked me if I had learned my lesson yet or if i still planned on playing with bats.

After that me and christine went to Sam's club in Idaho Falls to get the flat tire on pinky fixed so that we could go to storage tomorrow and get done the things we need to for the end of the semester.  We drove to sam's on the donut and had to wait for almost 3 hours while they fixed it--it really wants that bad though because we just slept on the couches there.  

***

On the way home we were driving along and all the sudden the car started shaking really bad so I pulled it over.... and the tire had blown--again.

It was really funny,

so, after calling AAA and waiting for another hour we finally just had the donut put back on, said a prayer, and drove it home.

We made it!

I'll just deal with it tomorrow after class.  Good thing I'm done at one!

The Calm Before The Storm...

Mean Girls and an all-nighter.  

I am breaking in Finals week well.

Tonight me and amy went to play games with Cody and a bunch of her friends.  It was really fun.  I really miss Cody.  

I can't believe that in one week I'll be sitting in bubbles, at home, done with my third semester of college.

Zach, the little peach he is, made a trip home mix for the family.   The family is so...precious.  They are either really artsy, or really creative or really nice.

Im really like the step child or something because I never really hang out with the family anymore, but I have been trying to develop better study habits this semester.  It's a work in progress--but it's coming along.

Kevin Gnapoor.  Please enroll at BYU-Idaho.

I love bats.

Bat in the house: Chapter two

Today I got the following text message from my mom:  

Katie--I really think we need to just suck it up and get the shots... :( 

Oh, awesome!

So tomorrow I start my 6 shot series with 2 shots,  this is ha-lar.  

Truth bones... How many people do you know who have had rabies shots?  Hopefully only one.

I cant wait to go to my home ward for the first week tis time:

Oh you're back!  How was your semester, what did you do?

Oh, you know:  studied, went to class, hung out with Makana, and got rabies shots.

For what it's worth

hells bells

!%$@#

I think i was on campus for 10 hours today.

I honestly think that Andy Samburg is one of the most attractive people alive.  No lie.  

Home sweet home.

Minnesota

Land of Lakes, Love, and Loons.

I miss a lot of things from back home...              

I miss Collin James Sandoe

I miss Claire Rose McIntire

I miss Xin

I miss my mom

I miss my dad

I miss Abby

I miss Pinkerton

I miss Charlotte

I miss Zuzu.

I miss my house

I miss Bubbles

I miss bats in my kitchen

I Love Minnesota...

I Love the cabins

I love the Widlife

I love loons

I love nature

I love watching the night Sky at my cabin.

I love my family, my house, my yard.

I love bubbles

I love my friends and the people I know

I love duluth

I love downtown rochester

Idaho

Land of Learning, Latter Day Saints, and Logic.

I love a lot of things in Idaho...

I love Idaho sunsets

I love the spirit of ricks

I love the watching hot rod

... I love hot rod.

I love the mountains

I love the weather

I love get winded when I go up stairs too fast

I love calling my teachers Brother or Sister  

Im going to miss Idaho...

sunsets are not as majestic in MN

It's harder to be good back home

Hot Rod is still cute in MN.

Minnesota is flat flat flat

MN has plenty of oxygen

I don't go to school in MN

A rose by any other name...

These are all the alternative spellings for Katherine Ann Fleming:

Katherine Anne Fleming

Katherine Ann Flemming

Katherine Anne Flemming

Kathryn Ann Fleming

Kathryn Anne Fleming

Kathryn Ann Flemming

Kathryn Anne Flemming

Catherine Ann Fleming

Catherine Anne Fleming

Catherine Ann Flemming

Catherine Anne Flemming

Cathryn Ann Fleming

Cathryn Anne Fleming

Cathryn Ann Flemming

Cathryn Anne Flemming

Fortune favors the BOLD.

Boldness comes in many forms: some people speak their minds, some people stand up for what they believe in--even if it's not so popular--, others put people in their places (sometimes rather brutally).

Im not sure where the concept of fortune favoring the bold came from, but i believe it.  I think part of it is just being true blue.  

I'm 19 and i've been bold enough to get me this far, but I think it's about time i strike out on my own and getting to know the world a little better.

These are my plans for my future.

I plan to finish out my sophomore year at BYU-Idaho.  I hope to go to BYU-Hawaii for a semester or two and eventually migrate to Europe.

I would love to go to Italy and see the places my dad served his mission in.  I would love to go to Japan and see where my mother went to college.

Eventually I want to get married, graduate from college and live life like a normal member of society.  But while I have no strings attached I want to soar.

I think for me to be bold, the best I can do is follow my heart.

Katherine Ann Fleming's infinite playlist.

***As a disclaimer I would just like to say that I think I have finally found myself and I appreciate and love all the people who have been aids on the journey, but this is more personal.  This is what kept me moving.  From one person to the next, this filled the empty spaces and the dark corners between.***

Infinite: (adj.) Without End.

In the modern world, few things are infinite.  Even fewer people understand the majesty of the things that are.  In my world the things that are infinite are the things that have pulled me through, and brought me home each time I fell away.

For these reasons--and many other I could not explain--these are the songs that are infinite to me.  They made me who I am and taught me to think and see the world in a new light.  

The Remedy, Jason Mraz.

When I was 14 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, a side effect from Neuro Fibromatosis, 2 days before Christmas.   I cried.  My mom cried. My dad held us together, gave me a blessing, and keep us going.  On January 8th I was a wreak.  With my surgery early the next morning, I found myself wide awake and terrified.  I went into my parents room and my father kindly let me have his side of the bed for the night.  My mom gave me the gippy and I flipped on the TV.  There have been few times when the things happening to me fell into place in such a way that the only way it could be described is cosmic alignment, but this is one.  As Abby purred, cuddles up against my stomach, I watch as the white flash from activating the television quickly disolved into the Music Video for The Remedy.  Time held still, I held my breath, and for those few moments the only things that existed in the galaxy were me, the TV, and my cat.

From A Balance Beam, Bright Eyes.

It was in a foreign hotel's bathtub I baptized myself in change.

and one by one i drowned all of the people I had been,

and i emerged to find the parrallels were fewer--I was cleansed.

I looked in the mirror

but someone new was there.

Still, I was as helpless as a chess piece when I was lifted up by someone's hand,

and delivered from the corner my enemies had got me in.

But in all of my salvation I still felt imprisoned inside that holding cell, that is myself.

I was born inro the church, baptized at age 8, and that was that.  My true conversion came much later, in my late teen years.  As a pawn in god's plan, I was finally lifted up by his hand and delivered from the life I had gotten myself into because of the friends I had chosen in high school--now, for lack of a better term, my enemies.

I know I have come a long way, but part of me still feels prisoner to the habits I learned and the life i lived.

El Scorcho, Weezer.

Rivers Cuomo is one of the many people I hold as a hero.  I can't pinpoint exactly when I got into weezer, but I know it fell somewhere between Heath-break and betrayal.  I can remember the first time i heard el scorcho.  I was on my bed with audrey and I though it was the weirdest song I had ever heard; however,  it's catchiness landed it in my head, and soon after my heart.   If Rivers can get through the cards he was dealt and still be that optimistic, I know that I can.  In retrospect, my life has been a cakewalk.  The biggest trial I have had to overcome is wheater or not to straighten my hair for church this week.

Jaded, Mest.

I'll never regret these years...

I've done my fair share of wreak-less, selfish, stupid, impulsive things; with each a lesson has been well taught.  Even though I have been scared--figuratively and literally--bruised, and battered I wouldnt go back and do anything in my life up to this point differently.  I'm sorry to those I've hurt anf for the stress I have caused my mother.  But as far as my own pride and well being goes,  I am not sorry.

Screamer, Good Charlotte.

'nuff said.

The World at Large, Modest Mouse.

Life is like a horse.  It's going along fine, collected even, and then something comes up that shouldn't even matter and all of the sudden you are no longer riding a nice pleasure pony, but a bucking bronco, and more often than not you find yourself i the dirt.  

When all hell breaks loose, which happens about once a semester, I just need to think.  Think about who I am, what I want, and who will help bring me there.  When everything in life seems so unstable I like to have one thing constant until I can sort out the rest.  People are usually a good thing to depend on, but sometimes they change, flake out, or can't help.  I love people, but in these times I turn to music.

I laid on the floor listening to The world at large on repeat for two hours once (and i still don't know all the words).

I got back up, brushed of the dirt, and got back on the horse.

The things that are infinite to me, are the things that always will be: music that says what I can't, characters in books who love and care and help even when they don't need to, families who stick it out and get through the rough times, animals that love you no matter what, movies that make you want to change to world, and the God who made this all possible.

peace.

it's like rain on your wedding day.

Tori Amos is a freak.

The only song I like by her is Blood Roses--Alanis Morissette, on the other hand, I love.

Im going to be up all night, Because I slept all afternoon because I had a migraine.  I haven't gotten one for a really long time, so I guess I was about due.  At least I've never had one as bad as the one I got after my surgery.  It's also good becuase now I can get a lot of my homework done.

I tried to write Maximilian again, but i don't know his MTC mailbox, and you need that for dear elder.  I can call the mail room tomorrow and get it.  I know he is going to be home before I know it, because I'm already done with three semesters of college pretty much.

And seeing how fast life goes is really motivating, terrifying and exciting all at once. 

It really makes me want to try hard in school because semesters really are not that long.

I really do  like school a lot.  I love science and math and i do like doing homework,  I just forget that I like it when I'm not doing it and I get distracted by bloon defence towers or facebook or something of that nature.  Even though my grades are not going to be spectacular this semester, I think I learned a lot about time management and I think I learned how to study.  Bring on the summer semester.   I'm ready for it this time.

It really makes me want to find myself because I have got to make up for a lot of lost time.

If I spent half the time I waste playing games or watching TV on something productive, like painting, or guitar or poetry or anything pretty much Think about how much progress I could make.  At any thing really.  I think I'm going to go on a technology fast while I'm home for winter.  I've always wanted to just sell everything I own and go to europe or something.  Ill do that, but not as drastically.

It really makes me want to do something today to make tomorrow better, because we need that.

nuff said.

Idaho, here i come.

thanks to Kanye's Workout plan

I'm the envy of all my friends

see, I pulled me a baller then

and I dont have to work at the Mall again.

the 7 things I hate about being 19, a girl, and at BYU

-Your friends are all wither 18 or 23+

-Having to say bye to a friend at least every other month for two years.

-You can either date preemies, and look desperate or date boys fresh off the mish under severe pressure to get married.

-missing Maximilian

-missing Taylor

-missing Dallin

-knowing Preston is leaving too really soon

The 7 things I like about it

-Writing your friends on their missions

-not really having to worry about dating

-being a good influence in their lives

-being at BYU-Idaho, in glorious Rexburg Idaho; America's Family Community

-Break the fasts

-Devotional

-the spirit of ricks

I love spam and reese's. Can i have it?

What movie?

Can i just say...

i hate buying food in  airports.

hate it

hate it

hate it

hate it

hate it

I payed $11.48 for the same damn pizza and breadstick combo I can get for less than 5 bones back home at taco hut. thats more than a 100% increase in price.  Thank you American Airways.

So, after a 3 and a half hour flight--more of a nap--a two hour wait in the airport, another hour and a half on a plane, and one hour waiting for my sister in the airport, my pilgrimage back to the holy land was over.  I called us a cab for me and christine, and we went to the hotel where we got this beautiful surprise: "I'm sorry ma'am but the hotel room you reserved isn't available so we upgraded you to a suite."  

Free of charge.  

Complete with ACT II butter popcorn and a bathroom--with three doors.  

Score one.

We switched to at&t today, and I got a ballin new phone.

 and rid of all ties to T-Mobile... 

in one day.  

Score two.

I caught up with an old friend. 

And might hang out with them when i get back to rexburg.

Score three.

i mean it.  score.

These are the things i already miss from Minnesota:

1.  Pinkerton

2. Charlotte

3.  Bubbles the hot tub.

4. The Family

5. Flabby

6. My own bed, or at least Christine's.

7.  Home cookin, and not having to live off cereal and rice and taco bell.

So now I'm in Utard with my sister for the night and we are watching 50 first dates on the TV.  

You Don't Know Me.

I am really bad at
-spelling
-keeping my room clean
-getting up in the morning
-Mario Galaxy
-Mario Kart
-Any game I have to use an X Box controler for
-hard boiling eggs

I am really good at
-Racing the cows on that Wii game we have
-SSX Tricky
-Making popcorn (thank you chateau)
-Procrastinating
-pulling together legit last minute projects
-Driving on Ice (thank you MN)

None of the afore mentioned matters, but it's still true.

So Listen...

Coming home is always really weird, I can't imagine how weird it is for missionaries to come home after serving for two years.  

I always love going into zumiez and talking to james for the first time after coming back.  This time i got to go in to give him ben's computer charger to give back to ben when he came into work that night.  Not that hard.

"Hey!  I havent seen you in forever!"

"Yea, I'm just home for thanksgiving... say, boy. can you give this to ben when he comes in?"

...james looks at the clock "Hewon't be here for about a half an hour."

"I know, can you just give it to him when he gets here?"

"Sure.... what it is for?"

"It's a computer charger.... i have a huge A project due when i get back, and i left mine in Idaho."

"Oh cool. "

...."well, see ya"

James is lucky he's so cute....

so blessed.

Basicly home has provided me with two things.

1. Bubbles, our lovely hot tub.

2.  a ballin' oversized long sleeve tee shirt from my faja.

Idaho never seems that far away, ever.  Not even when you drive it.  I think it's crazy that I'm 19 and i live in two places, half way across the country from each-other.

I wrote Maxamilian and mailed it off yesterday.  I really wanted im to get a letter his first day or two in the MTC, but im not that organized.  The only thing my mom said about Max was his name is Maximilian?  Why?  That's a mexican name.

I miss Maximilian.  A lot.  Even though he is off track and if he had not gone on a mission I wouldnt have seen him till next summer, just knowing that he is going on a mission makes him seem so much further away from me.  Like on the moon or something.  and he might as well be on the moon for two years.

The crazy thing is i am planning on transferring to BYU Hawaii next year, and what if I see him? I can't hug him or anything.... But Max never really hugged.  he shook your hand.

Currently abby is growling at me because I am using her as a pillow, but it was her idea to lay right where my head needs to go..... I'm just waiting for her to attack.

I love abby... I wished she loved me back, or at least tolerated me.

We have ben told to give a prayer of nothing but thanks, especially during this time of thanksgiving.

I try to give thanks prayers at night and only ask for things in the morning, for the coming day.... but i often forget to say my pray in the morning which leaves me in a pickle if i even need anything.

anyway I though I would make a list of all the things i am thankful and love here so when i forget to pray about them they still are counted somewheres.

I Love 

-Charlotte and Pinkerton, Individually and collectively.

-Zuzu and boomer.

-Flabby, Cash, Cricket, and all the of hamsters, birds, rabbits, fish, lizards, snakes, turtles..... ect. that I have had.

-Bert's Bees Lip Chap

-African American's

-Native American's, and the clothing they have contributed to the Indie culture

-The Simnitt boys

-Taylor Syddall

-Makana Hansen, Preston Trebas, Amy Doll Marie Benkenstein, Kaiter Tot Kiyoko Conard, Tori Lynn Dickson, Mikyla Powell, Beaner, My parents, My grandparents, Melissa House, All of the House Sisters, Collin James Sandoe,  Claire Rose McIntire, Xin, Monica Fix, Cody Skroski... and everyone else I am forgetting.  Sorry.

-Nalgene bottles

-Rob and Big, Chris Brown (r and f), Conor Oberst, Heath Ledger (rip lovely), Shaun White, Rivers Cuomo.

-Weezer, Bright eyes, Modest Mouse and Good Charlotte.  Those are the major ones.

-Music in general, for all it has taught me, all it has done for me, and all the times it was there for me.

-Missionaries

-Being 19 at BYU-Idaho

-sarcasm... as long as it is not directed at one person in particular.  then it becomes bullying or  hate speech.

-BYU(Idaho Utah and Hawaii)

-Hawaii

-Minnesota, Idaho, The East Coast.

I Am Thankful For

-Friends, Family, and People in general

-Little kids being crazy

-Stray Animals, so i can still hold a cat at school.

-food, clothing, shelter, water.

-whoever invented those little thins you shake into water bottles to make lemonade.

-Milk, lemonade, propel, Orange Juice, Water, Haterade, and other drinks so I dont have to drink soda.

-Pie, cake, cookies, candy, bars, desserts in general, and treats.

-sandwitches, pasta, and bread.

-Taco bell, chipotle, and sushi.

-The world at Large, El scorcho, Jaded, and From a Balance beam.

-The church and all the things I know becuase of it.

-Roommates that don't come home wasted and throw up on me.

-Planes

-Nail polish remover

-Guitars, pianos, banjos, hards, clarinets, cellos, violins, harpsichords, Trumpets, drums, synth pads and beat machines.

-non coin-op laundry machines.

-quarters, for coin op machines.

-air drying

-Chemistry, math, science, and english

-art, poetry, drawing, painting, markers, crayons, unlined paper and paint.

-coloring books for teaching me how to stay in the lines

-hidden messages because no one is going to read this.

I Want to make a difference

-Love a little more

-Criticize a little less

-Look at a few more sunrises and forget about the sunsets

-love others a little more and you a little less

-help someone you don't know

-let yourself go a little more often.

-Be on time to class, so you can take the long way, and see more of your friends.

-give away your time, it means more than any material possession you could donate.

-Ride your bike when you can, nature is beautiful

-go for a walk with your friends.... don't talk, just walk.

Thats about it.  I guess I'm  little bit of a dreamer, maybe a little hippie, a lot lover, and little  hater.  I try not to stop you from doing your thang, just please let me do mine.

Tori Lynn has had the opportunity to do this really cool project for her photo class for the past two weeks: she takes a picture everyday and posts it on her blog with a short description. I wish I could have had this project because the picture I have for today would take the cake in any competition hands down--sorry Tori, your pictures are great--minus the creeper christmas decoration one--but just bear with me, read the story, and look at it.
I flew in from SLC last night and got in at about 5:00 my time. After going to look at a new dog, my parents took me to Olive Garden to eat. It was really good and i ate almost all of my food and about seven bread sticks. We went home and sat in bubbles, our new hot tub, until we got too hot and then we went back inside. After showering and playing with the huas we went to bed.Today was church, I kind of hate going to my home ward for the first week I am home from school, because everyone acts like I'm back from the dead--it's just really annoying. I have to stand up and introduce myself like I'm some visitor or something. I grew up in that ward, I've been there longer than most people in it. "Oh, what are you doing home? Are you here for a while?" I'm always tempted to tell them i dropped out of college, but lying isn't good so i just explaine to everybody in the congregation that "I'm only home for thanksgiving right now, then i go back fro two weeks." The really awesome part is that I'm going to get to go through it all again in two weeks.
whoop whoooooop.
Here is where the story starts: I was making dinner when I heard it--It sounded like a hamster running in a wheel, but we don't have any hamsters anymore. I looked at the light fixture above the sink and saw it's little furry leg and foot sticking out. "MOM!" I yelled. "Mom! There is a mouse in the light!!" WHAT!? She shrieked."I see it's little leg stickin' out!"...Then it moved and i saw more than it's little leg.... I saw it's little wing."...No, It's a bat."
My mom was not happy.
"What do we do? what do we do? how do i get it? how do i turn the light off?! it's going to fry... what do I do!?" There were about a million things running through my mind. I didn't want it to bite me... I didn't want it to fall and get hurt. I didn't want the dogs or Abby to get it...After trying a few things this is what it came down to.i put my hood up and some gloves on. We took the screen off the window by the sink and using that as a shield. I unscrewed the light and took it out. Little Stellaluna stayed put though and i didn't really want to touch her...."Stellaluna you need to come down" I told her... but put she stayed.
I got some tongs and pulled her out into a bucket and dumped her out the window. Then we realized that it was really late for a bat to still be out in the winter and were worried that she was sick because she wasn't hibernating yet. I also wanted to see her so i went outside and she was just crawling around like a baby. I felt bad and was really worried so my mom said we could catch her and call Quarry Hill.After getting chirped at and chasing her down, we caught her in a sherbet bucket and poked some holes in the top, called a friend who worked at the nature center(Quarry Hill), and found out that bat's can only fly from trees. They cannot take off from the ground. So we took her out and dumped her by the pine tree in out backyard.She was really ungrateful and opened her little vampire mouth at us and beared her little Edward fangs....
I could have let Abby have you princess...

sorry taylor...

I just got the letter I tried to mail to Taylor back today--I'm trying to be a supportive friend.  I hope he still knows I love him.

This is Taylor Syddall.

Isn't he precious?

I met him summer '08.

The memory of Taylor that i remember the most, was when I stayed up all night, and Taylor and Maxamilian stayed up all night in their dorm and we met in the park at about 5 a.m to watch the sunrise.  After this we all walked up to campus and ate breakfast in the galley--back when it still existed.

Taylor Syddall is giving two years of his life to the lord.  He is such a good boy, he is serving in the Mexico City South mission.  I miss him a lot and i am so proud of him.  I remember him texting me the day he got his call--it seems so long ago.  I hope he is home before I know it.

Taylor loves Nutty Buddy bars, one time me and Amy felt bad for flaking out on Taylor and Max, so we bought them about 7 boxes of Nutty bars, and pinwheels, and a card, and some other things.  They asked us if we wanted them to walk us home.  We told them they didn't have to, but the gesture was much appreciated.

I am so proud of all my friends that are on missions--even though I am not very good about writing them

These Are The Men I Would Marry...

The Curbside Prophet:

Jason Mraz

The Deceased:

Heathcliff Andrew Ledger

The Heart-throb:

Adam Brody

The Joker:

Rob Dyrdek

The American Dream:

Shaun White

The Dreamer:

Conor Oberst

The Baller:

Chris Brown

Be it dance, music, or passion, all of these people have influenced me in some aspect of my life--defined me, made me, shaped me.  I owe a little bit of my heart to each of these boys--and many others--and always will.  

It's day by day, moment by moment.  The only thing you can do is be the best you can. Most importantly, never let the hater stop you from doing your thang. 

 

r.i.p dreamer

you are in my heart.

tell boomer hi for me.