The Facts are These...

1. I am going to be up all night
   
2. It's freezing in here
   
3. I am having the worst time trying to write this paper about Heathcliff
   
4. I just want to go look at the stars and not worry about papers about Heathcliff
   
5. I miss minnesota
   
6. I am almost 21
   
7. I want a volcano burrito
   
8. my cell phone's battery lasts about half a day now
   
9. I miss europe
   
10. I miss pinkerton
    
11. I miss my sister and my friends on missions
    
12. I never hang out with people anymore
    
13. I spend all my time reading
    
14. I usually like it
    
15. I spend more time in the library than i do at home most days
    
16. I am excited we are on a poetry unit in Creative Writting
    
17. The semester is almost over
    
18. It's crunch time
    
19. I want chocolate
    
20. I want a dog at school
    
21. I want letters!
    
22. I want to travel more
    
23. I want to join the Peace Corps
    
24. I want to go on a mission
    
25. I want to be done with school
    
26. I never want to be done with school
    
27. I want to learn to sing
    
28. I want to learn to paint
    
29. I want to live in LDN
    
30. I want to live in Rome
    
31. I want to live in Boston
    
32. I want to live in Paris
    
33. I want to live in California
    
34. I want to go to outer space
35. I still miss Zuzu
36. I still miss Boomer
37. I still miss fluffy
38. I still almost cry if I think about it too long
39. And Ringo
40. I want Max back

Late classes are the worst lazy maker of all!! It's 10 30, I've been up for half an hour and i don't have class for another hour!

Father's Day

Today was Father's day; I got to call home and talk to my mom and dad. They are redoing the kitchen and are both pretty excited about it--from what I hear it should be beautiful!
We had a really good lesson in R.S. today about the priesthood and preparing to be wives worthy of priesthood holders. It was very powerful and very good.

I love sundays.

With a stick, while he slept.

How do you beat writers block?

Now I Know How to Save a Life

He was a mess—roasting in the hot summer sun, completely helpless, and alone. He had come from the sky like a fallen angel, and he lay there, on the hot sidewalk, waiting for death to come take him. There were others like him that were even less fortunate than he, the light had gone from their eyes already. People had been passing him all day; people too busy with their mundane lives to pay him any more attention than “how sad” or “poor thing” before they went along their busy way. He had fallen from his home and was in a foreign land with no mother, no knowledge of this new world, and no chance of ever making it home on his own.
She was an animal lover by nature (maybe that’s why her mother didn’t try to reason with her or tell her “no”). She was on her way back to the car, ready to leave her horse at the fair for the night—satisfied with the water level, bedding, and animal's happiness. One last kiss to Cricket’s velvety nose and she was out the door, and down the walk, heading for her mom’s silver van. The plastic werewolf (dubbed ‘wolfman’) from a Taco Bell kid’s meal eaten over a year ago was still there, taped to the antenna—right where Katie had originally put it, a failed practical joke. As she got closer she could see it come into focus: light brown with tattered black pants and no shirt—like the incredible Hulk. That was when they met.
“Mom!”… “MOM!”
“What?”
“There’s a baby bird!”
“Wha-”
“It fell out of its nest….. What do we do?”
Lynda knew her daughter well enough to understand that they did have to do something—Katie would never leave something like this entirely to the fates to determine an outcome. Over the span of her relatively short life, their house has been a foster home to bunnies, snakes, turtles, tadpoles, quail, ducks, butterflies, and anything else she could catch.
Less than an hour later this stranger to our world had a new home, a family, and a name.
Max, like any baby, needed attention and care. The internet provided Katie with a list of needed ingredients to make food for a baby bird, and a digital alarm clock provided her with a regulated feeding schedule. Not one to ever get up before the sun, Katie found herself up just hours after midnight to feed Max. I guess there is logic behind the saying “up with the birds” she thought to herself one morning as she cut the tip off of a McDonalds straw to make a small spoon to feed her pet. “Peep, peep, peep?” Max would ask, his yellow beak wide open and his bald head back. He looked exactly like the Starvin’ Marvin toy Katie and her sister Christine had played with as kids. “PEEP, PEEP!” he continued as soon as he saw food was coming. That was the routine, ever couple hours for days on end. Max would cry, and Katie would get up to tend to him. His home (a spare storage bin that was missing its top and had been fitted with a heat lamp, blanket, makeshift grass nest, and sticks) had to be cleaned weekly, his water changed daily. The cat had to be kept as a safe distance and her bedroom door had to be kept shut.
Max grew fast, and came everywhere as an honorary member of the Fleming family, including weekend trips to the family cabin. One weekend in particular happened to coincide perfectly with the day max learned to fly. Between strings around yellow legs to keep Max from flying away, first baths in Frisbees, and clumsily trying to convince bugs to leap into his gaping mouth, it was a weekend of growth and memories.
From then on Max was making changes and progress daily. Within a few days he could fly well enough that the spiteful housecat was getting to be a hazard. When Max went fully aerial, he was relocated to the back yard. The front door had to be carefully monitored for the sake of visitors unaccustomed to a wild bird landing on their head upon reaching the front steps. Katie was out the door before the guest were out of their cars, gathering Max from various heads, shoulders, and backs. “Don’t hurt him! He’s mine!” Hers, and he was; He belonged to her, and she to him. They shared a special bond of love and respect toward each other.
The day Max stopped coming home altogether was a heavy one. Katie searched all the trees in her yard and the neighbors’. “Max!” She called for him, but he never came. “Max!!” No answer, no peep, no sounds of wings. Katie stayed outside for a long while looking at the sky. She wasn’t looking for him anymore, just at where he was. She understood that Max had flown home.

Like like like like like.

A few semesters back I realized I didn't have a declared Minor. I don't really understand clusters, non wanted to deal with figuring them out, so one day (quite on a whim) I walked into my advisory's class and declared English as my Minor. Since then life has become a rich swirl or books, writing classes, creative activities to teach proper technique and stretch me as a writer and sparknotes.
I have a love for poetry and a respect for people whom are well read and understand language. Language is pretty important I guess--it's kind of how anyone ever knows anything about us. Not even kind of, it is.
I have been successful i to avoid words like "dude", "gay", and "retarded". I've since learned some synonyms that easily remedied the situation, but there is one more parasite word that I can't shake.
Why is it so hard to use "LIKE" in the proper context? It's not that I don't understand where it belongs in a spoken sentance, but anytime by brain even slows down it goes right to "like like like like like."

Please slap me if i ever use like in a sentence other that a confirmation of something I have an interest in and "like", or when to things are similar or different like unto each other or not.

I'm not as dumb as i sound, i promise.

Party in the USA

I am trying to see if I know someone in or from all 50 states:

1. Alabama Jill Fleming
2. Alaska Zack Stout
3. Arizona Kara Kartchner
4. Arkansas Uncle John
5. California Madison Carver
6. Colorado Brady Smith
7. Connecticut
8. Delaware
9. Florida
10. Georgia Saychelle Rincon
11. Hawaii I had a class with a girl from Hawaii once....
12. Idaho Dallin Weeks
13. Illinois Kara (Old R.S. president)
14. Indiana Amy Doll Marie Benkenstein
15. Iowa Jennifer my old roommate
16. Kansas
17. Kentucky Alli Bennet
18. Louisiana
19. Maine
20. Maryland
21. Massachusetts Tlyer
22. Michigan Monica Fix
23. Minnesota My Family
24. Mississippi
25. Missouri
26. Montana The Winn Twins
27. Nebraska The new neighbours across the street
28. Nevada Alicia
29. New Hampshire
30. New Jersey Diane
31. New Mexico Shela
32.New York Jane Amadu
33. North Carolina Tutu
34.North Dakota
35. Ohio Drew Grella
36. Oklahoma Zach Gibson
37. Oregon Maximilian Simnitt
38. Pennsylvania Meredith
39. Rhode Island
40. South Carolina Kendal
41. South Dakota
42. Tennessee Alex Fisher?
43. Texas Brit
44. Utah Mason West
45. Vermont
46.Virginia Sara Cabrera
47. Washington The Brooks
48. West Virginia
49. Wisconsin The Buxtons
50. Wyoming

Riddle me this...

How come we always take advantage of our time with people until they are out of our lives for a very long time?
How come I never clean my room even though it's a disaster?
How come home feels less and less so the older you get?
How come sometimes you cant get through this week/semester/year fast enough, and other times you just want the moon to stop in the sky and let you live in the moment a bit longer?
How come Narnia doesn't exist when it's 4 am and you have hours of homework ahead of you and all you want to do is go to Narnia so you can sleep and not waste any time in the real world?
How come when books or movies move us it never last longer than a week or so?
How come we can't take responsibility for our own downfalls and sorrows and DO something about it?
How come we put faith in people who let us down time after time?
How come James Franco will never be in my address book?
How come 20 can feel so old and so young at the same time?
How come I have never been on a road trip without my parents?
How come Europe has to be 30 hours away by plane?
How come we can't have dogs at school?
How come I am crazy enough to have fits of depression, but not crazy enough to have a dog at school?
How come taco bell doesn't exist outside of America?
How come we even use the phrase "how come" when logically and linguistically it kind of doesn't make any sense...?
How come Pinkerton is 3 states away?
How come Oliver will never trust us?
How come people abuse animals?
How come five months seems like forever and nothing at all?
How come Cupcakes are so grood?

Bucket List

This weekend I did major damage to my bucket list....

-I rode a Segway
-I played Fugitive
-I Ghost Rode the Whip

Sometimes i really worry that I am getting old and boring.
This weekend breathed a little bit of life back into me.

GHOST RIDE IT.
Ghost ride the whip!

...Don't worry mom, this is about how ghost we rode it

Foma

Monster

why are you so far away from me?

I need help and you're way across the sea.

BFFL

I know I like to play the victim card and pretend that I have had just the WORST friends ever in my life (it's true there have been some terrible ones).  However, it is also true that I have had some of the most AMAZING friends there could be for someone like me.  Ones that will stay up all night with me and then go watch the sunruse in porter park, ones that let me pull the car over to get out and look at the stars even if its freezing and its already close to 4 am and were in the middle of nowhere utah, ones that will look at picture after picture after picture of animals with me and not tell me they are bored, ones that can handle me when I get into my funks, ones that can handle me when I get crazy, ones that truely love me for ME.  I am not sure I would be the person I am today without them...

FIRST, there is Amy Doll Marie Benkenstein, and she is my best friend.

Her name says it all--she is a doll.

She is getting married very soon, and even though that means I have to share her with Jeff now I am glad to do it because I have never seen Amy this happy.

We met in a class out first semester.  I awkwardly broke th

e ice by telling her I liked the vans sticker on her notebook.  A few days later we went on our first bestie date, and pretty much have been BFFL ever since.  

NEXT is Maximilian Simnitt.  He is a very cute boy.

Communication with him is a little rough since he is on a mission right now, but he was my first example of a boy who cared

 about the church as much as he cared about having fun.  He cares just as much about fashion, music, and animals.

His favorite dog is a bulldog, he is in Hawaii right now, I don't write him as often as I should, and letters from him are a high point.

He gets home in five months.

Christine Leigh Fleming.

Dubbed "Beaner" by those who know her best after confusion over her race and ethnicity, she is one of the greatest examples to me I have ever had.  We fought a lot when we were younger, but I think that is pretty normal.  I am only here at BYU-I because of her and I am only going on a mission because of her.  She is the light that leads me without even trying to be.  

She is also on a mission right now, and will also be home in five months.

Five months from now will be an exciting

 time in my life.

Me and Cody met out first semester when we lived in the dorms together, we then lived together for two semesters in Colonial.  We have had some pretty good times and some good talks.  She is an example to me of strength and faith.

Monica was my first roommate in college.  Even though we were about as different as oil and water, we got along and had a lot of fun together.  She help me get over some issues I didn't even know I was having!  She was my first friend in college, as well as one of the first solid friends i have ever had.

There have been more, and more entries are bound to come later, I just feel like i need to express--even if it is just to the universe--how greatful i am for good friends.

mission accomplished!

I'm almost embarrassed.... but I like it.  It's just WAY different.

But i over slept so I couldn't fix it even if i wanted to, so...

Hello world.

YouTube

I have recently come to the conclusion that you can learn how to do anything on youtube...

I found a tutorial the other day about making better curls with sponge rollers.  Pretty much all you have to do is start wrapping it at the root instead of the ends.

I'm goin for an afro...

we'll see what the morning brings...

With a little bit of gold and a pager.

It's not that the air is different over there.  The clouds aren't made from different molecules and the grass is essentially the same color green.

There is something very different about places other that home, but it's not physical.  

It's emotional.  

It's spiritual.  

I tend to think too much, and often too fast as well.  I just do; I always have.  Sometimes it's very unhealthy and I get caught in spirals that go downward very fast.  Sometimes it's just funny things I remember from my past, or interesting things I want to do in my future.  Sometimes I make lists in my head--things like "People I am Glad Are Not my Mother" or "Things I Will do When I Get to Heaven and Have Eternity".  These lists are fun to make but rarely consist of bullet points with greater importance than "that lady who is screaming at the waiter right now for bringing her the wrong kind of water" or "learning to sing like a broadway star".

Lately something has happened to me...inside, and the best part is I did it to myself--with the help of my Heavenly father of course.  I think my alarm has gone off, and I finally didn't hit snooze.  I can see the beauty in a grey sky now, and the way they hold a rainbow so perfectly between the white clouds.  I can find patience to deal with people I would usually just add to certain lists in my head.  I can love myself for who I am because I know heavenly father made me this way for a reason.  I can let go of the people who hurt me and realize at least I got to grow because of it.  I can close my eyes and dream about Paris and Italy and then open them and the magic isn't gone because it's not a dream but a memory.  It's something real.  Something I did.  Good noises I put on the wind.  I can look in a mirror and smile because I finally love the girl looking back.  She's happy, and not because her inbox is full or because she has a boy with hands to hold.  She's happy because she is almost 21 years old and can go on a mission soon.  She's happy because she knows no matter what the world thinks, the value of a master piece is determined because of the artist.  She's happy because Katie and Katherine both finally feel like home.  She's happy because she learned how to keep moving forward while still looking backwards at the places she's been.  She's happy because her scrapbook and plans for the future are starting to merge.  

Most of all she's happy because it's not worth being sad anymore.  Sad people miss out on life.

Wear Sunscreen.

This is one of my favorite things I have ever seen.  I think Amy might have been the first one who showed it to me,.  It was either her or my cousin Maria.  I don't really remember....

I listen to it every once in a while when i get stressed out, and it always makes me feel like things are where they belong again.

I'm listening to it right now, and I guess I was just thinking how lucky these kids were.  What a way to enter the real world.  

Anyways, I found out it was Kurt Vonnegut that gave it.

Vonnegut is one of my favorite authors, so it makes sense that I would love it i guess.

My favorite line?

DONT BE RECKLESS WITH OTHERS PEOPLE'S HEARTS AND DONT PUT UP WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE RECKLESS WITH YOURS.

But it's all really good, and something I want to start listening to even more often.

love

This too shall pass

life wishes.

Mose trap was always my favorite game as a kid because i loved building the.... structure? I dont know what to call it, but I loved it.
Since I am an adult now (and really because most of the pieces are missing) i have always wanted to make a similar contraption that takes up a whole room, warehouse, ect.

like this

Katherine Ann Fleming

I don't Know how to develop my own film.

I don't own an SLR camera.

...I don't even know if those are the right letters.

I'm not the center of attention.

I'm not funny to most people.

I'm SHY at first.

I second guess myself a lot.... but usually follow through anyways.

I am not an art major.

I don't know half the bands you talk about.

I don't spend my money on gas to get to utah and tickets to get into shows.

I probably don't use the right kind of paint for the projects I do.

I can't afford canvas so i paint on cardboard.

I'm not that creative--but i can mimic and mix and match.

I pay attention differently.

I never took art classes in college

I can't spell without spell check

I have never been in love

I have never been asked out

I am not the number one pick to hang out with on the weekend

But I know how to nurse a baby bird back to health and watch him fly away one day.

I know that it's okay to break up with friends.

I can quote all of A Knight's tale from memory. Including the words on the screen before the movie starts.

I can saddle a horse and put a bit in the right way.

I can clean their hooves so they don't get thrush.

I like Bright eyes and Ludacris.

I remember your favorite books and movies even when you forget mine

I know how to take care of a sick pony at the fair

I can stay up for 36 consecutive hours

I love con artists, but i don't play games with people's emotions

I've been hurt more that I have hurt

I avoid confrontation

I know I can get over it, but I dont know what other people's hang ups are

I'm pretty different than the people I have been friends with in the past, which usually results in me not being their number one, but I am okay with that now.  Most of the boys from my past aren't worth it anyways and a lot of my "friends" from the past are rude and inconsiderate of other people.

There's nothing wrong with me--there never was.

I have my own talents and they and theirs.

Sometimes you have to go thirty hours across the ocean to see who you are and figure out what kind of life you want to live.

Life Plan.

My mother dearest once told me it’s a good idea to make a life plan for yourself and then readjust it as people come into it.  She said it’s important to keep your options open if things come up, but it’s also important to have a plan and a timeline you are living by.  After having the opportunity to go to Europe and get a taste of traveling, I have made some changes to my life plan and this is what it now consist of:

 

-Serve a mission

-Graduate

-Work for an orphanage in India

-Work for an animal orphanage in Costa Rica or Australia

-graduate school in France or England

Usually I would be offended...

If a celebrity look-a-like generator told me I looked like a BOY!  But, since it was Conor Oberst, I can deal.

Good News.

In the past 24 hours I discovered two WONDERFUL facts:

-They are making Eat Pray Love into a movie, featuring James Franco.

-They are making the Perks of being a Wallflower into a movie.

Eat, Pray, Love.

These past two semesters have been kind of hard for me--mostly because of my own stupidness or faith in unstable people.  woof.  However, something good always comes with the rain: I learned a LOT though these past few months, and it all kind of set me up to really appreciate and LOVE my dream trip to europe. bonus.

In a lot of ways, this trip has been my own version of eat pray love. 

 I ate--oh, i ate:  Pastries, carbs, pizza, gilatto, more carbs... and nutella on it all!  I loved and felt loved; I prayed and had just about every prayer I sent up to heaven in the last year returned, answered.

The truth is simply: I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world, Heavenly Father created for me :)

And I am very thankful I got an opportunity to see a little bit more of it.

There are going to be a LOT of changes in my life in the next year. (12 month year--not calendar.)

1. my two bffls are getting married to their soul mates for time and all eternity on the exact same day!!

2.  My baller of a big sister will return from her mission

3. Tons of my guy friends from freshman year will also be returning from their missions.

4. I will put in my mision papers and hopefully enter the field.

IT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL

When you are impatient...

This seems like a really cute, easy, and fun solution to waiting for hair to grow out....

I gotta be strong, because I know ultimately I want this more:

Party in the USA

home from europe:  not happy.

After 21 days in a dreamlike state, I finally am back home in America.  I have been home for just over 24 hours now, and part of me feels like i never even left--and the rest feels like I will wake up tomorrow and be in some new country and going to some cathedral or on a walking tour of some ancient civilization's ruins...  

I bet coming home from a mission has got to be one of the weirdest things ever.

I knew from the moment we touched down in London that something inside me was about to change, but I couldn't have guessed how big it would be or even fathom half of the prayers that were answered on this trip or any of the impressons that came to me.

Nie wieder

Finding intranetz while in Europa was actually a lot harder than I though which resulted in terrible upkeep with my blog, but a fabulash journal and lots of great pictures.

THESE WERE THE HIGH LIGHTS:

France:

Our teachers took us to the Eiffle tower our first day in Paris, a bunch of us loved it so much we went back out last night.  It is massively enormous and at night it lights up!

We tried to go to the top of it the first time there as a group, and waited in line for over an hour and a half, only to discover that we didn't have the right kind of tickets.  I though it was funny--others were not so amused.

I had originally brought my fripod ti listen to "Soco amaretto lime" on the tippy top but since that didn't work out I sat across the plaza and watched the lights.  Under those new lights and the same old moon I realized that there was a LOT more out there for me in the world and that it was time to finally let go of ties that lead to heartache, bridges that should just be burned, and people that didn't help me be a better person.  This is my life and I will never again let myself feel like it is going on around me and I am just sitting still waiting for my chance to join in.  I've got the reigns now.

The last night in Paris--when we went back-- I brought fripod again and listened to the same old songs that make me feel infinite.  The eiffle tower stood before me as my only friend that night and i couldn't have been happier.  For those few moments nothing else mattered except the fact that I was on a great journey and I was doing something that I knew was going to change my life forever and give me a glimps of all the wonders that this world still has in store for me.

Other high pointa in France included watching a mass in Notre Dame, Chartres, Church in Paris, and the Louvre.

LDN day one

So, I am in LDN, and it is just as dreamy as I imagined. The hostle we are staying in has internetzzz you can pay for--and is GHETTO. I love love LOOOOVE it. Today i learned how to work the underground, how to work british money, and how to cross a british street during rush hour. I also learned that getting lost can lead to some pretty amazing adventures. Today I mostly just walked and walked and walked and WALKED!! I am taking tons of pictures I will upload later to the book.

The room i am in in this hostle is up about 100 flights of super steep super narrow stairs--after walking around, not fun. when i came back down to go on the computer, i just held on to the rail and flopped down like a little rag doll. my legs are going to be sooooooo sore tomorrow.

Tomorrow we go to the brittish gallery i think, and then toorrow night i go to wicked! the girls that saw it tonight said it was amazing, so i am super excited.

i am also almost out of time

i love europe already

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. No one said it would be easy, they just promised it'd be worth

iWant

My eurobuddy Drew came into came into class today with THIS on his laptop:

snow white's revenge.

Mt. Eyjafjallajokull

has had me thinking a LOT these past few days.  I would be eternally crushed if it's ash cloud didn't move from over the UK, but it's kind of made me realize that you can't always depend on other people and other things for happiness and personal growth, because sometimes they fall though.

I hope very much that things work out and I still get to go to Europe, because I have been looking forward to thins for a year--since the day I told my mom I feel trapped and then sat in Amy's house looking for travel abroad trips after her simple solution "go on a foreign travel studies tour".

Lately I can't function unless I know when the volcano is doing.  This is the latest: http://www.xomba.com/ash_cloud_over_europe_flights_may_resume_after_delay_volcano_iceland

GOOD NEWS!

Church was really good today.  Like REALLY good.  I got to sit by christina and Zach in sacrament meeting, and then sunday school and RS was all just combined but it was good.  i think I am going to like the ridge.

If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every-time.

It has also been quoted by the great Rob Dyrdek that "the only enemy of success is laziness".  I really think it's true that you get out of life what you put into it.  The only way to have a friend is to be one.  I know sometimes I am selfish and not the best friend out there, but I am trying to do better and put other people first--sometimes it's just kind of hard.

Preparing to go to Europe has had me in a dream like state these past few days for many reasons:

number one:  I am going to effing EUROPE!

number two:  I am going to see some beautiful art and be M-O-V-E-D by it.

-Researching that art has taught me a lot about the artist and the tales of   the time

number three:  It makes me wonder what else is out there for me

number four:  with my new passport, i can TRAVEL

number five:  I am the lucky one because I am not the one getting married at 20 and I get to still be selfish for a few more years. :)

-I'm just not ready to get married yet.

number six:  Euro-trash hipsters

number seven: Youth Hostels

number eight:  I am so grateful for my family and the fact that my mom works again.  Even though it was hard and lonely in high school, it is worth every day home alone now because my mom can help me out with school and traveling and self discovery through both.

number nine: I have gotten a lot of lucky breaks in my life. 

number ten:  I can't sleep when I am excited!!!!!

All in all I think that this trip will let me get to know myself a lot better, and hopefully the ME i am suppose to be, not the ME i use to be or the ME i think i should be.  (She's really not that cool and actually, kinda lame.)  It's funny how much more enjoyable life is when you finally realize "maybe God does know me a little better than I know myself, and maybe he knows what's good for me a little better than my friends do..."  Imagine that.

I started my EutoTrip wish list for my travel studies class.  I am making it into a little book that i can write in with a ball point pen since all i do with an english minor and communication major is write papers and and do projects on the computer.  It's cute and I am very happy with how i is turning out.  

I also started researching for my 30 pieces of art I need to research before we leave: We have to write a one page paper about each one, that way, when we find them we can know their history and hopefully have a stronger reaction to the piece of art.  I am doing some Monet, Van Gogh, and Manet as well as Michaelangelo, Degas, and some Impressionist art.  I am also interested in architecture, fountains in Rome, and the egyptians and greek art that will be in the Lourve and other museums.

p.s. i think my indie-cred is about to SKYROCKET.  j.k (but seriously...)

TWELVE DAYS

10 things that make katherine happy

1. Pinkerton (bonus: dog and album)

2. Hip Hop, Rap, and Ludacris

3. crazy hair--borderline manes

4. Travel and dreams of it (not to mention planing!!!)

5. dorms PSYCH!  

6. Bright Eyes/ Conor Oberst

7. Guitars and pianos

8. Lists (bucket, wish, to-do...)

9. Dance Parties.  drop it drop it low girl.

10.  Missionaries

janesville doll:

Back in High School,  I played on the Lady Spartans volleyball team.  It was fun and I've got some good memories; however, the strongest one has nothing to do with the games, and everything to do with the bus rides to away games--specifically the games in Mankato and the ride through Janesville.

The Janesville doll is: weird, bizarre, and all together horrifying.

The Janesville Doll is a doll, hanging in the attic window in this little old house in Janesville MN.  It looks out over the park across the street, and year after year it sits there and watches life go on.

creativity

I was thinking the other day about education and how wonderful it is from a "life" point of view.  It is absolutely good to know things about the world you live.   Take time to learn about your country and your culture, then leave it all behind and travel to the four corners of the world and learn about theirs.  I am all for making the world your classroom, but I also believe that our intelligence enslaves us as well as liberates us.

Once we are educated, we no longer can believe that clouds are the left over smoke from fires all over the world, or that we can roast tree tops on sunsets like marshmallows.  The fire can no longer tan your skin.  Stars aren't just ideas that were never given a change to become anything and tiny people no longer live on my globe. 

When we are educated life looses its poetry and its magic.  

Stars are just balls of fire, trees are too far from the sunset to roast,  the light from a fire doesn't have the right kind of rays to tan you, and clouds are made up almost completely of water--not smoke.

It's good to be educated, but sometimes it kind of kills the A.R.T.

ART

While looking through some old folders on my desktop of pictures and poems and school work I found a folder FULL of art i have found online and liked,  I think when i get more settled I will start painting again and I think these might be my inspiration:

On another ART RELATED thread:  My classes for my euro-trip started today.  It's like art boot camp, but it's really interesting and it is getting me super excited about the trip.

One of the classes I am doing is an independent study where we make up our own research project to do.  We have to do research before we leave, then spend time looking for the thing we researched while we are in europe, then when we get home we make a portfolio or write a paper or compile it all somehow.  I think I might do how religion influences religious architecture in different countries.

For another class we have to make a bucket list (already have one) for our trip and then research 30 specific pieces of art and write a one page paper about them,  when we find them we do a little response and  make it all into a journal.  We also have to fine 15 pieces there that MOVE us and those we research when we get home.  All of this goes into our journal too.  I am super excited, but I think it might be a lot of work so  I will probably be in the l.i.b. all day tomorrow.

I know I am not as artistically inclined as a lot of my friends, and that I really don't now much about art from a statistical point of view, but I do know that art can MOVE people, and create though and change.  The world needs more leaders and less followers.  

I don't know, I guess there is balance in blazing a trail and being difficult, but it's the trial and error that shape us and make us.

Euroclasses: day one.

Today I started my euro trip classes.  I really am excited, even though it's all kind of a little overwhelming.  I will be in EUROPE in two weeks!

I could not sleep last night, at all.  I spent some time stumbling and thinking, but all in all I just laid in bed and waited for sleep to come... it never did.

This is one 

of the treasures I found while stumbling.  It reminds me of dreams and magnetic poetry:

FACTS:

1.)  My mom is sending me her nice camera so I can take it to Europe with me.  I am very excited, mostly because lately I have been having a lot of ideas about 

photography and different pictures I could take

2.)  I thought I had lost all of my paintings in the process of moving, but I found them im a remote corner of a discrete box.  True, I was mostly sad about loosing the canvases--the paintings aren't that great--but it's still nice to have them back.

Here is some inspiration for long locks, lovely looks, and life:

.

3.00 AM: insomnia

Is it okay that even though I don't have a boyfriend--or plan on getting married anytime soon--I have already made the following decisions about my wedding:

-I want my colors to be brown and goldenrod so I can have sun flowers in my bouquet

-I want the wedding party to release doves

-I want my first dance to be to "first day of my life" by bright eyes.  (cheesy?  don't care.)

-I want to get married in the SLC temple

-I want a reel dee-jay at my reception 

and set the following requirements for my future eternal roommate:

-He's gotta be tall enough that I can wear heels around him

-He's gotta be able to make my LAUGH until I can't stand up anymore

-He's gotta be adventurous and spontaneous but still responsible and spiritual

-He's gotta NOT say "dude" or use the words "fag", "gay", or " retarded" in casual talking

-He's gotta be an returned missionary and care about the church

-He's gotta be smart

-He's gotta like to travel 

-He's gotta think I am beautiful inside and out, and be able to deal with my crazy

-He's probably gotta be a little bit crazy too...

He will preferably:

-have dimple

-have dark hair and light eyes

-be musical and artistic

-be well read so we can talk about books

Having friends get married or start seriously dating is... really weird.  We are all still so young, and marriage is  E-TER-NAL!  It's a BIG deal to decide to hitch yourself to someone for the rest of time.

I guess for me it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do right now.  I just want to work on me for a while, have a few more years of fun and still be able to be selfish for a little while longer.

I just want to use this time to work on me and try to be the best version of me that I can be.  

I'm only 20 and there are still a l.o.t of things I am figuring out about myself.

Summer2010.

dreams really do come true.

Dear Rob Drydek,

Will you marry me?

Love,

Katherine Ann Fleming

World Traveler.

In less than three weeks I embark on my Humanities Tour--I could not be more excited.  I have one more final today at 12:45, and then i am free.  At least until monday when I start my classes for my eurotrip.

I can't believe how fast this semester went, how different it has been from how I imagined, and how close Europe is.  Throw in the two moves I have to make between then and now and time will fly like paper.

I still am trying to construct a euro-bucket list.  Any suggestions?

My mom was right, I am lucky I'm not getting married at 2o. I still have a few years to be selfish and do what I want.

-travel

-music

-art

Dear MTV

I understand (and completely appreciate) that Fantasy Factory has filled the void to an extent, but there is still a hole in the MTV universe left in the wake of the closure of Rob & Big.  My name is Katherine Ann Fleming and I would like to take on the task of filling that remaining hole.

I am 20 years old, and attend Brigham Young University-Idaho in Rexburg Idaho.  Before you go get your maps let me tell you this: when you go to school in a small town you have to be more creative to have fun, and I firmly believe that you get better memories for the extra effort.

I value my education and work hard to make good grades, but I also value fun and work hard to make good memories and have good stories.

I am on a "fast grad" program and go to school year round now.   I am especially excited for the upcoming summer semester because a lot of my friends will be coming back to Idaho.  Their return paired with warm weather and long, summer nights means that all sorts of crazy things will be happening.

I have no professional training in acting, no job, and no shame.  

Do with that what you will.

Yours Truly,

Katherine Ann Fleming

think it will work?

Bucket List

This semester I started making a dent in my Bucket List, and next semester I will only continue to do so :)

infinite <3>

mighty change of heart, Mentors, and mad dance parties.

Who would have though they could happen simultaneously?

This semester has taken me to places I've never been before, and some places I am not eager to go back to.  I think I cried more this semester than I have in my entire previous college career combined, but hey: your eyes must do some raining if you're ever going to grow.  And grow I did.

The best thing about being crazy is that when you finally get over it, you have to hit the ground running.  Time will have been lost, and friends and relationships will have been neglected.  All of these factors lead to a desperate scramble to fix the things I did wrong and lead to a change of habits, thoughts, and heart.

At least two things this semester of the religious variety (devotional, firesides, church talk, etc.) have dealt with mentors in out lives and how we need to be prepared to meet them and also be humble enough to listen to them when they teach us.

wonderland.

 heard you fell into a rabbit hole
Covered yourself up in snow...

This semester has been a little bit like wonderland.  at least i learned that things really do fall apart so other things can fall into place.

yes please.

lists.

-i am getting sick

-my grades could be better

-i am doing all i can now, and for the rest of the semester, to get my grades up

-i'm done letting other people take my happiness

-only invest as much time in others as they invest in you

-never let someone be a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs

-time, prayer, and music can fix anything.  ANYTHING

-i really don't have it that bad

-i've been dealt some pretty awful hands in life, but they only made me stronger, so to them I am grateful

-i miss pinkerton

-i get to go to europe

-i want to serve a mission

-i want to travel

-i need to marry a doctor to support all of my hobbies

-i am talented

-i am smart

-i am a good person

-i let other people into my head

-i let myself into my head

-i'm done doing that

-I am Katherine Ann Fleming and I am part of a legacy

... And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Today I had a meeting for my Eurotrip this summer, I am ecstatic.  I decided that i am only going to be in the hotel room the hours they require us to.  I also decided I am going to make a Eurotrip Bucketlist.

All i have to far is:

-Taking a coin from the Fontana di Trevi

-eating crepes in france and galato in Italy

The lights are on; I'm awake

So, maybe I do want my life to be like an indie movie... I think it's because I want to be alive and free like the characters in them--and I don't think thats always a  bad thing.  I'm not reckless with other peoples hearts (I know this because I'm the one who gets hurt every-time).  I try hard not to do things that affect other people, unless it lifts them up.  I try to be true to myself, but we all fall short at times and in different areas.  Thats why we have friends--to hold us up where we are weak.

THIS WEEKEND WAS SERIOUSLY SO INFINITE.

I have recently been reminded of just how much I LOVE light.  First of all light is symbolic of good things, which is rad, but i love physical light even more.

And mainly three kinds of lights:  

head lights/tail lights, skylines, and stars.

The coolest thing to me is that these are all big collections of smaller, single lights... and each individual light has it's own story, but then together all the stories come together and make up our cities and our life's and our cultures and... everything. 

 

The headlights all file down the streets in a organized line into the skylines.   From there they all disperse to their own homes and appointments and stories, and the stars watch it all.

CONSIDER THIS:

-If it's a clear night, pull over, get out of your car, and look at the stars.  Then remember everything good in your life and remember sometimes it's okay to just enjoy the ride.

-If you are driving and see something you want to get closer to.  Stop, pull over, and go look at it.  Maybe even pick a flower for your journal.

-Night is the best time of day becasue it's when all the lights come on and all the dreams come out.

basically I can sum it all up to this:  If you are curious, go explore.  Louis and Clark that because that's how we learn about the world we live in and how we grow to be ready to take it all in stride.

recharge.

This weekend I was lucky enough to come down to Utah with my friend Cody.  Her ride bailed on her last minute, and I needed a great escape, so I offered to drive her down if she would put me up while we were there--great trade off.  Everything about this trip so far has been infinite, and we still have today and as much of monday as we want to invest.  

We did sleep through church though, which i feel bad about.

Friday after classes we drove down to Logan, and got in at about 8 or 9 o'clock.  The drive was easy and fun.  Good music, good people, good time.  We didn't know much about our plans for the evening other than the fact that we were going to a dance party and when it's dance and party, I am always in.  When we got to her aunt's house I started talking to her cousin about Minnesota because he served his mission there and we pretty quickly made a list of other missionaries we both knew, and as it happened, we were going to Elder Benson's for this party.  wild.

Let me try to paint a picture as well as i can:

Roll up to the cutest college kid house ever (with a working mail flap on the front wall) and walk into the home of a boy I knew as a missionary.  In the corner there is a storage bin that is being used as a punch pool.  The deejay is great--editing is priceless.  Fun kids, and great music.  I haven't just gotten to dance since summer 08.

So that was already a great weekend, but it doesnt stop there.

After a severe night's rest on the floor of Cody's aunt's house we got ready for the day and headed into Ogden Utah for Winterfest 2010.

"okay a.  I now feel MUCH better about myself, b.  this is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever done, and c.  this is fun so lets enjoy the ride." nuff said.

After that we went down to SLC for the night and it was a dream.  I saw the Joseph Smith film, and Sister Morris, and the temple all in one night.  I also got to see Brent and hang out with Brady and Tori and Jack and Griff for a little bit in SLC.

After that Me and cody just took some time to explore SLC before going back home to Logan for the night.

INFINITE

ear worm

so far this semester I have had

Starstrukk (3oh!3)

It wasn't me (Shaggy)

and 

When you Wasn't Famous (the streets)

stuck in my head really bad.

February 8th 2010

2010 has already been a whirlwind of EPIC proportions.

Tears

Laughter

Stress

Anxiety

New Friends

Old friends

Best Friends

Bad friends

Movies

Mistakes

Growth

Apologies

Anger

Pain

Joy

Laughter

Music

Art

Painting

Disappointment

Basically what it all adds up to is that Ferris was right.  Life moves fast.

Sometimes you just gotta LET GO and see where the new path leads.

summer 2010.

what a dream.

The Brothers Bloom

Few movies move me the way this one did.  The last time I felt like this i was watching the Darjeeling Limited.  A close second was wrist cutters and (500) days of summer--for the first time.  

BUCKET LIST

-Sundance Film Festival

-Festival of Holi

-Greece

-Italy

-London

-France

-Mexico

-Australia

overslept.  feel like a zombie.  taking the day off from ad con and copy.

2010 is going to be great for my bucket list.

The actual compilation that is my bucket list is scattered throughout several journals, notebooks, sketch pads, and bed room walls back home; the mental version is probably lacking some of the context, but is still a pretty good draft.

I totally love each and every one of my friends, but sometimes I feel like when you spend all of your time with the same people you turn into each other.  You develop the same mannerism, speech habits, jokes...  I mean, it's good to have bonds and things that bring you together, but sometimes I feel like I loose my own identity to a more common one.  That's not a bad thing.  It's really fun to have inside jokes and things that everyone can relate to that bring us together.  It makes us feel at home, and being home is very important.  (In fact, we learned about coming home to the people we love today in devotional.) I don't know if any of this makes sense outside of my head...

I do however know that I am very grateful to all of my friends at BYU-Idaho (and throughout the rest of the country) and I am grateful for the way they have all helped me grow into me and figure out who I was and more importantly, who I could be.  What my potential might be.  I love that everyone here has been so friendly and so welcoming toward me.  And I'm glad they have been patient with me when I am shy or stubborn or anxious about the future.

I'm not saying I want to stop hanging out with anyone, or that I am over my current friends.  I'm just saying that I have come so far and I am eager to keep going.   I love everything that I have in my life right now, but sometimes I want to know what else is out there.  What else I can learn about and see and do.  What else I can become.

This is a new decade.  A new year.  I'm 20.  

It's time to do something and make something of myself.  My years of being young and free are probably getting numbered and I just want to try and be the best version of me that I can be, because once you meet someone and settle down, your life is never completely your again.  It's going to be new and exciting and great; however, it's also going to be shared.

heres to being infinite...

art 101

Being an art major was never even a blip on my radar. I mean, I was always fascinated by art and made time to do it on my own, but as a career or a job... I dunno. It just didn't match up. Actually, considering my history as a dreamer, it seems like a decision I would have made--I just didn't. I guess something just didn't add up.
What do you do when you already love what you do but need to check on an old equation?

little letters pt. 2

Dear January,

Thank you for being over.  You were a little too stressful...

Dear February,

Please keep me in check and remind me that i only need to take it one day at a time.

Dear Europe,

Thank you for always being such a good thing to look forward to.

France.

London.

Italy.

Austria.

january 2 2010

this is the most up-to-date list of everything I did over christmas break:

Went to Las Vegas for the first time (if the airport counts)

Slept in until at least 10 each day

Watched Glee season 1 on DVD

Watched Heroes season 1 on DVD

Read Twilight

Watched Twilight

Watched the Blindside

Went to Wisconsin

Went back to MN

Took lots of naps

Sorted through old boxes of stuff in my room

the end is in sight...

This semester has gone faster than any other one, and I feel like it's conclusion is way longer, more stressful, and crazier than semesters past.  I am also surprised how quickly it came up considering how eager I am for the next two semesters to be here.

I technically could be done with school now, but there is an optional advertising final tomorrow morning and I am going to take it and see if i can squeeze out a B+.  That is at 7:30 in the morning.  Kill me.  But I know that i should do it.

I think this is going to be the closest I have ever been to my goal of 4.0!

mail.

tech deck+candy+toy dog+FUN t-shirt=great day.

8 days

Until I fly home.  I know this because I made a count down and taped it to my laptop.  I can't believe this semester went so fast.  I also can't believe that I am coming back winter, and going to europe next summer.  2010 is going to be great.

On a completely unrelated note,  I got an A in public relations as my final grade!  Also, my presentation group got the highest score in the entire class!  96%!  On  monday my advertising group will present out pitch to Bella Coolla Pizza.  I'm actually kind of excited about it.

All I have to do this weekend, is write up my oral presentation for poetry, make some visuals for the ad. presentation, study for my world religion final, and make some flash cards for the ad. final.  Considering the list I was lookin' at last weekend, this will be  a cake walk.

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