new obsession

Love this boy.

fresh ink.

I would never actually do it, but lately I have been wanting a new tattoo really badly.  I want an outline of MN and a swallow and lyrics.  If i wasn't Mormon I am positive I would have at least those and probably more, along with a nose rind and monroe.

I can't sleep

So I'm listening to old devotionals on the BYU Idaho website. I love devotional. After this one I am going to eat some pop tarts, read 5 ore chapters in Anna Karenina, and clean my room a little bit. Then I will get ready for school and read the rest of Anna Karenina part five so I am Prepared for class tomorrow.

Dallin gets home in just over 2 weeks! I am very excited to see him again.

I have never been in the in crowd, but at least I figure this:  

the out crowd is a lot bigger than the in crowd so at least I will never be alone.

Screw you guys, I hate high school!

I originally started this post as a tribute to my high school bffl (GMP) but then I realized I don't really care about her or what she did to me anymore--now I care about trying to be a better version of myself and working hard to learn from every experience.

I guess now I will just say I love this song and the video and think Tyson Ritter is a dream boat.

Responce.

You said the world’s got you dizzy again
and maybe we’ll never get use to the spin,
but we all know how to do what we should
and just staying idle wont do any good.

Maybe we’ll never get use to the spin,
and only get older with each passing turn,
But just staying idle won’t do any good,
So go and let fires of passion all burn.

We only get older each time the earth spins,
And fall into patterns and habits and trends.
But if we let fires and passions all burn,
Then maybe we’ll come out all right in the end.

We fall into patterns and habits and trends
and we all know how to do what we should,
so maybe we’ll all come out okay in the end
even if the earth gets us dizzy again.

Pantoum

I know the back roads better than the main.
And traveling them I feel the most at home,
when the city lights are mirrored in the stars
and I'm completely--utterly--alone.

Yes, traveling them, I feel the most at home
and anxieties are most often at bay—
when I'm completly--utterly--alone,
and only the bright cosmos guide my way.

when my anxieties are most often at bay,
I find my mind on things that matters most.
When only the bright cosmos guide my way,
it's then that I am freed from all my ghosts.

And with my mind on things that matters most,
when the city lights are mirrored in the stars,
it's then that I am freed from all my ghosts.
Tis why I know the back roads 'fore the main.

sonnet

From under borders marked by sun’s degree,

came one whose voice could sooth my aching soul.

And even if you never know of me,

know that my love burns ever bright as coal.

At first from noble mount you caught my eye,

from there you conquered desert’s stinging scorn.

To have your lips part with my name I try

to hear each time the sun brings in new morn.

What fine to thee do I owe for that love

that fills my whole, my life, with hope renewed?

And even all the birds from up above,

can sense my ever growing gratitude.

And evermore your eye I truly tried,
with sweeping motions me allow inside.

some things never change...

Babies

Big

Holy matrimony and war.

When I leave here, my college career is definitely going to be marked by the summers.  When else will i get to go from this...

to this 

in one day!?

Today was the bridal shower for my good friend Saychelle, it was the first one I have been to for a friend and it's kind of weird knowing that all my friends are starting to get married!

Saychelle is so great and i am so glad she found her eternal roommate.

She was half of my band last summer.

She was the first person to make me really realize i need to stand up for myself.

and She is fab fab FAB!

After that I came home and prepared for the city wide water fight my friend ford orchestrated.  Red v. Blue; East v. West.

Lately I have been super anxious again about friends and my short comings and my flaws and all those bad things that get trapped in my head.  Today was good.  It showed me i do have friends that care about me and that I am not boring.

iMiss

Roadtrips to SLC

Max and summer 08

cute peek-a-poohs

rob and big
christine

summer oh mine

...I even miss Abby

Pinkerton

Baby Logan and T.H.U.G parties

Charlotte

Bike Rides

SassyKat

Paramore hair

being young and free

weekend trips

Europe

KTMK

Taking a boat to france from england

Days Past; Days to come.

I I I miss red hair.
I I I love this.
I I I want to go home.

look at book

love.

lost my marbles...

I have good memories kept on my marbles,
good advice, and passages read.
I organized them by relevance,
And kept them up in my head.

Then one day a stranger came,
And I fancied him straight away.
But as it turned out he wasn’t what I thought,
He was rather dull and grey.

I, however, had already thought,
How I would love to be with him.
And even though I knew he was not
The one the feelings set in.

And now my marbles are all askew,
And falling out of my head.
I can’t seem to find a sensible one
So all I can do is dread.

I chased the "smart" one as far as I could
But it slipped under the fridge.
I guess that’s why I just can’t seem
To help myself and burn a bridge.

The funny ones are not much use,
When jokes can’t make me laugh.
And I’m ashamed to admit
I’ve cried on his behalf.

Tears flowed from my aching eye,
In rivers to the floor.
As I slowly watched my marbles all
Rolling out the door.

Maybe someone who needs them more
Than I will take them home,
And use them for a moment
Till they too are left alone.

And on and on my marbles go,
helping those in need,
Till at last we are all free
--that is my only plead.

The Facts are These...

1. I am going to be up all night
   
2. It's freezing in here
   
3. I am having the worst time trying to write this paper about Heathcliff
   
4. I just want to go look at the stars and not worry about papers about Heathcliff
   
5. I miss minnesota
   
6. I am almost 21
   
7. I want a volcano burrito
   
8. my cell phone's battery lasts about half a day now
   
9. I miss europe
   
10. I miss pinkerton
    
11. I miss my sister and my friends on missions
    
12. I never hang out with people anymore
    
13. I spend all my time reading
    
14. I usually like it
    
15. I spend more time in the library than i do at home most days
    
16. I am excited we are on a poetry unit in Creative Writting
    
17. The semester is almost over
    
18. It's crunch time
    
19. I want chocolate
    
20. I want a dog at school
    
21. I want letters!
    
22. I want to travel more
    
23. I want to join the Peace Corps
    
24. I want to go on a mission
    
25. I want to be done with school
    
26. I never want to be done with school
    
27. I want to learn to sing
    
28. I want to learn to paint
    
29. I want to live in LDN
    
30. I want to live in Rome
    
31. I want to live in Boston
    
32. I want to live in Paris
    
33. I want to live in California
    
34. I want to go to outer space
35. I still miss Zuzu
36. I still miss Boomer
37. I still miss fluffy
38. I still almost cry if I think about it too long
39. And Ringo
40. I want Max back

Late classes are the worst lazy maker of all!! It's 10 30, I've been up for half an hour and i don't have class for another hour!

Father's Day

Today was Father's day; I got to call home and talk to my mom and dad. They are redoing the kitchen and are both pretty excited about it--from what I hear it should be beautiful!
We had a really good lesson in R.S. today about the priesthood and preparing to be wives worthy of priesthood holders. It was very powerful and very good.

I love sundays.

With a stick, while he slept.

How do you beat writers block?

Now I Know How to Save a Life

He was a mess—roasting in the hot summer sun, completely helpless, and alone. He had come from the sky like a fallen angel, and he lay there, on the hot sidewalk, waiting for death to come take him. There were others like him that were even less fortunate than he, the light had gone from their eyes already. People had been passing him all day; people too busy with their mundane lives to pay him any more attention than “how sad” or “poor thing” before they went along their busy way. He had fallen from his home and was in a foreign land with no mother, no knowledge of this new world, and no chance of ever making it home on his own.
She was an animal lover by nature (maybe that’s why her mother didn’t try to reason with her or tell her “no”). She was on her way back to the car, ready to leave her horse at the fair for the night—satisfied with the water level, bedding, and animal's happiness. One last kiss to Cricket’s velvety nose and she was out the door, and down the walk, heading for her mom’s silver van. The plastic werewolf (dubbed ‘wolfman’) from a Taco Bell kid’s meal eaten over a year ago was still there, taped to the antenna—right where Katie had originally put it, a failed practical joke. As she got closer she could see it come into focus: light brown with tattered black pants and no shirt—like the incredible Hulk. That was when they met.
“Mom!”… “MOM!”
“What?”
“There’s a baby bird!”
“Wha-”
“It fell out of its nest….. What do we do?”
Lynda knew her daughter well enough to understand that they did have to do something—Katie would never leave something like this entirely to the fates to determine an outcome. Over the span of her relatively short life, their house has been a foster home to bunnies, snakes, turtles, tadpoles, quail, ducks, butterflies, and anything else she could catch.
Less than an hour later this stranger to our world had a new home, a family, and a name.
Max, like any baby, needed attention and care. The internet provided Katie with a list of needed ingredients to make food for a baby bird, and a digital alarm clock provided her with a regulated feeding schedule. Not one to ever get up before the sun, Katie found herself up just hours after midnight to feed Max. I guess there is logic behind the saying “up with the birds” she thought to herself one morning as she cut the tip off of a McDonalds straw to make a small spoon to feed her pet. “Peep, peep, peep?” Max would ask, his yellow beak wide open and his bald head back. He looked exactly like the Starvin’ Marvin toy Katie and her sister Christine had played with as kids. “PEEP, PEEP!” he continued as soon as he saw food was coming. That was the routine, ever couple hours for days on end. Max would cry, and Katie would get up to tend to him. His home (a spare storage bin that was missing its top and had been fitted with a heat lamp, blanket, makeshift grass nest, and sticks) had to be cleaned weekly, his water changed daily. The cat had to be kept as a safe distance and her bedroom door had to be kept shut.
Max grew fast, and came everywhere as an honorary member of the Fleming family, including weekend trips to the family cabin. One weekend in particular happened to coincide perfectly with the day max learned to fly. Between strings around yellow legs to keep Max from flying away, first baths in Frisbees, and clumsily trying to convince bugs to leap into his gaping mouth, it was a weekend of growth and memories.
From then on Max was making changes and progress daily. Within a few days he could fly well enough that the spiteful housecat was getting to be a hazard. When Max went fully aerial, he was relocated to the back yard. The front door had to be carefully monitored for the sake of visitors unaccustomed to a wild bird landing on their head upon reaching the front steps. Katie was out the door before the guest were out of their cars, gathering Max from various heads, shoulders, and backs. “Don’t hurt him! He’s mine!” Hers, and he was; He belonged to her, and she to him. They shared a special bond of love and respect toward each other.
The day Max stopped coming home altogether was a heavy one. Katie searched all the trees in her yard and the neighbors’. “Max!” She called for him, but he never came. “Max!!” No answer, no peep, no sounds of wings. Katie stayed outside for a long while looking at the sky. She wasn’t looking for him anymore, just at where he was. She understood that Max had flown home.