Tuesday, February 3, 2009

0011.


Baby hippos, among many other baby animals, (with the exception of humans) are the most presh.
Although they could break you like a glowstick when they grow up, they are absoutly adorable when they are itty-bitty.
To make them even more perfect there is such thing as a pygmy hippopotamus.
I think this is a straight up hippo, but it's still precious. 

Sunday, February 1, 2009

0010.

Something about space and planets has always been very interesting to me.  I use to love going to the planetarium  more than anything in elementary school.  To night as I was driving home from Kaitlin's at about midnight, I noticed the moon was very low in the sky, and very orange.  I drove out a bit into the country and looked at it for a while.
Then I headed home and had the urge to look up into the sky again.  I leaned in over my steering wheel, and my eyes instantly found a shooting star.  I wished on it.  I felt it was there for me.
I could have sworn I even heard the star whizz by me.
I drove home and around my side of town for about 30 minutes trying to find a place I could see the moon from but I couldn't get high enough.
I just really love space and night--borderline morning.
I fell like part of me goes to sleep and the essence of me can come out.  I always feel more at peace late at night that I do during the day.  maybe thats why I am such a night owl.  I wrote a huge journal entry about it once.  I said I felt like after my brain and body shut down, I was left with my only my spirit awake.

That probably seems really weird to a lot of people, because I tend to think in a very metaphoric way and at a very rapidly pace, so it's hard for me to hold on to a thought long enough to put it in terms other people can understand.
Maybe thats why I like Bright Eyes so much.  I feel like he writes the way I think.

I miss Idaho, Amy Doll, Porter Park, Maximilian, and Summer Nights.
Pretty much everything I do, see, or expierence reminds me of one of the above.
I love Pinkerton, and church, and Kaitlin and my family.
I am lucky to have two cities, so far away, and that I can call both Home.
I'm glad I got to go away for college.
I'm glad I finally decided to get over myself and grow up.
And I'm happy that summer 08 happened the way it did, even though I was not happy through most of it.

0009.

So, I'm just at home. alone. waiting for the girl who watched Pinkerton this weekend to bring her back.  so i wont be alone.  I have charlotte and oliver but it's not the same...
She's 20 minutes late.  Maybe I am a paranoid person...
I was late to church today....whoops.
I got my calling.  
I missed my stastaining. 
(sorry I don't know how to spell it... I can't say it either.)
Kristen Welker however was kind enough to tell me i got a calling though after Sacrament meeting was done.  I did already know becuase my father, the bishop of the 5th ward, had told me about it and told me to be on time to get stastained.
I went to sunday school with the missionaries.  We learned about agency and the lords plan for us.
My mom found the GC Ensign for me, and I started reading it today.  

The people who have stinky just called and are going to being her by soon--I have been touched by an angel.

I think I'm going to start painting while I am home and work on poetry and guitar and everything.  
It's not seasonal depression, it's more like locational.
I miss Idaho, I miss having friends, I miss the spirit of ricks.

I hope I don't marry someone who needs to be away from home a lot, because I don't know how well I could handle that.  I do know that if he does I'm going to need a lot of dogs.
It's mostly being home alone with nothing to do that drives me crazy.  I've gotten a lot lot lot better at being alone, it's just having down time that I still can't seem to handle.  I need rules and guidelines and due dates and projects.
I need to have something to do. 
Always.




Saturday, January 31, 2009

0008.

Baby Charlotte is the most presh.
When I was helping my Mom clean out her closet the other day we found a bag FULL of stuffed Pikachus.  Like 20 of them, no lie.  It also had some pictures of pokemon, trading cards, and about 50 little plastic pokeballs from McDonald's.  Only about 10 of the toys that came in the Pokeballs were still there.
Charlotte apparently liked this Picachu and took it over as a day bed--along with abby's bed, abby's tent, pinkerton's bed, oliver's upstairs bed and downstairs bed, the couch, and any thing soft she can get on.


0007. Peter Max

 I found a book about the pop artist Peter Max in the library.  Something about the cover drew my eyes to it, and i had to touch it.  then see it.  then check it out.

it was littered with treasures, including an entire essay!

Friday, January 30, 2009

0006.

The more I work in kindergarten rooms, and the more I read about crazy people, and the less I sleep at night the crazier I feel.
No wonder little kids get distracted so easily.  The walls in their class rooms are covered--cieling to floor--with what can only be called crap: pictures, calendars, posters, paintings, steamers, letters, numbers, number lines, animals, shapes, words, art work, fabric, and bulletin boards for hanging even more crap.  
Sure it's good to stimulate their minds, but there is such a thing as over stimulation; which has been knows to lead to seizures, fits, and even death.
Working with kids has made part of me really excited about having a family one day; however, it makes the other part of my want to get my ovaries surgicly removed so I neved have to run that risk.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

0005.

There was this fad that went around facebook
no not bumper stickers.  
thats not a fad it's a passtime
like tennis 
or video games. 

This fad was a one way ticket into one's heart and soul
via 25 fast facts.
and no piano.

i love love love stuff like this
like making lists
and the vainness of getting to write about myself is unfortunately rather appealing... 




And so it begins...


1.  I was born without a healthy fear of strangers.  I like people so I talk to them.  I think everyone is worth getting to know, they just aren't all worth keeping up with.  There are too many genuine characters in the world to waste script on posers.
2. I think art is what kept us alive.  If one thing has bridged the cultural gap, age gap, and every-other gap in existence:  it has been art.
3. I want to go to the Hoosier State.... I also want to know what a hoosier is.
4. I love stuff.  Things that other people would usually throw away or over look, that stuff makes me.  Even my own old stuff--I could spend days looking through boxes of old things.  If you ever take me to a flea market, you better have all day.
5.  Pinkerton is Perfect.  Dog and album.  Nuff said.
6. "I feel like I've been asleep for most of my life" -Claire, Elizabethtown.  I think summer 08 was when my alarm clock went off, the 7 week break was when I hit the snooze button, and this past fall was when I layed in bed, turned on the lights, and finally shook of the blankets and awoke from the coma like slump I had been living if for the past years of my life.
7.  I love people really easily.  And I tell them.  I say it a lot, but i always mean it.  I'm really worried that when i am IN love with someone and try to tell them, they wont understand because I am sure I will have already told them "I Love You" multiple times.
8. I don't think I've been in love yet.
9. The mailbox is quickly becoming my best friend.
10.  One of the coolest things about libraries is the things you find in the books.  Not like facts, and stories, and knowledge but things.  Like news paper clippings and receipts and bits of cardboard and paper.  One mans trash is my treasures.
11.  I have a ton of cigar boxes.  I might not be at liberty to tell you how I got them--I got them empty though.  Don't get me kicked out of school.  I use them to keep things that are really important to me.  Like letters from my friends on missions, tithing, and head bands.  I think I might start one for things found in library books and on the ground.
12. I am terrified of the Tower of Terror.  Fitting huh?  When I went to disney land for thanksgiving 07 my sister and her friend talked me into going on it.  I asked the girl who was seating us if i was going to die.  Her responce?  "Someday, yes.  hopefully not tonight."  I also threw my gum down the elevator shaft because I was afraid i was going to choke on it.  I was hoping no body saw, but they did.
13.  I think people in general are really funny. Not like haha pwn the noob funny, but genuinely funny.  So many people are so clever and witty and hilarious if you stop to listen to them.  Especially little kids and african americans.
14.  I hope I find my place in the world before I have to leave it.  I don't know but big ambition and pro status procrastination seem like opposite forces to me.  Adding impulsion and short attention spans seem to be the ultimate K.O. There are so many things that I want to do and see and experience, and I honestly want to do them and am willing to make the sacrifices, I just forget I do a lot.  Like homework.
15.  The l.i.b. is the place to be.  This fall I learned just how lucky we are to have Public Libraries, Libraries on campus, and libraries in general.  I mean you can pretty much read any book you could ever dream of reading, and not have to pay a cent.  Call me cheep but I need to save my money for more important things, like taco bell and shoes.
16.  If reincarnation does exist, I hope I come back as Lil' Mama.
17.  I think Marshal "Eminem" Mathers is extremly talented and clever.  It's too bad he's also extremely perverted.
18. I stayed up for 42+ hours once.  I recomend trying it at least once.
19.  Sometimes I wonder if i need medication.  I took adderall when I was little and I'm not so sure they should have weaned me off of it so fast.  True: it's not very often, but sometimes things get into my brain and I can NOT shake them.  Aslo true:  It made me really weird and borderline zombie-esque.  I guess being slightly neurotic and paranoid is better than being a shell of my former self.
20. I haven't met many people I can't stand.   or even dislike for that matter, but when I do it's like, epic proportions.  I know it's my downfall, not theirs.  I'm working on it.
21. Amy Doll Marie Benkenstein was a precious blessing from above.  If anything living with me has prepared her to be a mother, and she is going to be the best mother ever if my judgement counts for anything.  She is caring, loving, domestic, and crafty.  A triple threat and a bonus jonas.  
22. I probably am a little bit legit crazy.  Like in the neurotransmitters sense... but it takes all types and at least I'm usually good for a story of a laugh--even if it is at my expense.
23. I just want to live.  Could Good Charlotte be any more truthful?  Being alive is necessary, but LIVING is  exceptional.
24.  You don't understand my people.  It took me a long time to get to where I am so please don't shake my little bit of earth I finally got under my feet.
25.  I really am a lucky girl.  I have pretty much everything I could have ever wanted and I am so grateful for it all.  Friends, family, house, job, dogs... I am seriously so blessed.

0004.

I was looking at this book called haunted Minnesota the other day and I was reading about all the places in MN that have ghosts.  
There is even one in a hotel in rochester.
After I looked through I was looking online for more information and I decided to look up Idaho Haunted places too.  
Apparently there is a ghost right on campus in Rexburg.  
A little girl got murdered there when It was still Ricks and her ghost walks from the hart to the romney.  
don't get in her way.

Monday, January 26, 2009

0003.

Today I found out one of the coolest things about the library is finding things in the books there. I found flyers, receipts, bits of cardboard, and some other things.
I got some books today about poetry, minnesota, oregon, portland, and one called 1001 albums you must hear before you die.  Its HUGE but really interesting.

some of the ones I want to listen to, or have heard a song or two off and want to hear more are:
Run DMC: Run DMC
Bruce Springsteen:  Born In The USA
The Smiths:  Meat Is Murder
Afrika Bambaataa and the Souls Sonic Force: Planet Rock--The Album
Beastie Boys: Licensed to Ill
The Smiths:  The Queen Is Dead
Dinosaur Jr.:  You're Living all Over Me
R.E.M: Document
The Smiths:  "Strangeways, Here We Come"
Pet Shop Boys: Actually
R.E.M: Green
Pixies: Surfer Rosa
Daft Punk: Homework
Elliott Smith: Either/Or
Dinosaur Jr.: Bug
Sonic Youth: Daydream Nation
Beastie Boys: Paul's Boutique
Cloutcut: What's That Noise?
Pixies: Doolittle
Deee-Lite: World Clique
Missy Misdemeanor Elliott: Supa Dupa Fly
Pixies: Bossanova
Eminem: The Slim Shady LP
The Dandy Warhols: The Dandy Warhols
Pet Shop Boys: Behaviour
Lemonheads: It's a Shame About Roy
Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes
Alanis Morissette: Jagged Little Pill
Elliott Smith: Figure 8
Gorillaz: Gorillaz
The White Sripes:White Blood Cells
Missy Elliott: Under Construction
Radiohead: Hail to The Thief
the Darkness: Permission to Land
The White Stripes: Elephant
Arcade Fire: Funeral
Franz Ferdinand: Franz Ferdinand
N.E.R.D: Fly or Die
Kanye West: The College Dropout
M.I.A: Arular

Bands to check out:
Public Enemy
The Streets
The Beta Band
The Libertines
The Beta Band
Ozomatli
Liars
Devendra Banhart
yeah yeah yeahs
The Mars Volta
Rufus Winwright
Scissor Sisters
Amy Winehouse
Calexico
The Roots
Furry Little Animals
Ryan Adams
The Strokes
Gillian Williams
Gotan Project
Doves
Robert Wyatt
Goldfrapp
Spiritualize 
Cornershop
Tortoise
The Verve
Beck
Belle and Sebastain
Eels
Lauryn Hill
System Of a Down
Queens of The Stoneage
Air
Beth Orton
Death In Vegas
Moby
Le Tigre
Fiona Apple
Wilco
Main Street Preachers
Everything but The Girl
Ash
Blur
Liz Phair
Nirvana
Jarmiroquai
Portishead 
Tupac
Radiohead
Pulp
Oasis
Screaming Trees
Drive Like Jehu
The Smashing Pumpkins
Pearl Jam
Rage Against The Machine
Dr. Dre

There were even a few albums I already have, but here is my long term projct for the rest of my life.  Thank you rochester Public library.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

0002.


dog of the day:
French bulldog. 

This one is named Charlotte, and she was rescued from an abusive home.  She is estimated to be 4 to 5 months old and already shows signs or trauma and insecurity due to her previous owners.
Ariel rescued her and Charlotte is now getting the love she deserves.  She also is showing a desire for attention. 



http://blog.philholden.com/2008/03/25/baby-french-bulldog-photography/

I was looking for a new book to read, and i found this photography book my mom has.  I took it out to school this fall but never looked at it.  It is really interesting.  I figured just because I'm not in school doesn't mean i can't learn.
It's called k.i.s.s. (keep it simple series) Photography. Tonight I learned about box cameras, pinhole cameras, camera obsucras or something like that, kodak, SLR cameras, and the beginnings of digital cameras.  I learned about lenses, viewing sheets, developing and sizes.  Professional photography and leisure.  I learned about photography pioneers and modern day breakthroughs and  development.
Pretty neat stuff.

0001.

Omaha
New York City
Alanta
Greece
SLC
Italy
South Dakota
Washington DC
Vegas
Seattle
Portland
London
Germany
Australia
New Zealand

January 25 2009. 21:30

I'm pushing the reset button on life.
It's time to spread my wings and fly.

Im ready to make the changes in my blueprints i need to make 
I'm ready to be the person who i need to be.

I don't need your blessings.
I just need my heart.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

If birds flying south is a sign of changes:

 I WANT TO BE...
I want to be in love 
I want to be one of those people who is always reading a book
I want to be sure of who I am
I want to be quieter
I want to be more sensitive to nature and my surroundings
I want to be so many stereotypes you cant label me
I want to be someone people never forget
I want to be infinite
I NEED...
I need to learn patience
I need to learn to speak my mind in a more professional manor
I need to not forget the things I've learned
I need to not forget where I came from or where I want to go
I need the spirit or ricks back in my life
I need rules
I need to be a nicer person
I need to help other people more
I ned little or nothing more than what i have now
I AM...
I am surprised I made it this far
I am an open book if you care to read me, I might not be inspirational or moving, but I try to be real.
I am proud to say I've never strayed too far from myself
I am finally figuring out what I want
I am really lucky
I KNOW...
I know who Katherine Ann Fleming is
I know a lot of things I didn't know 12 months ago
I know it wasn't all my fault things fell apart so many times
I know it needed to hit the fan though
I know thats what made me grow
I know I'm really lucky



Paper chains 


Friday, January 23, 2009

a million little pieces

is a weird book.
yesterday was the one year anniversary of heath ledger's death.
:(  rip baby
you will always be william thatcher, the knight of my heart. <3

Thursday, January 22, 2009

the more i try to avoid the internet

the more i need it.  It's like I'm an addict and it's my drug or something.  But the times i crack (no pun intended) and use it, are some of the times i needed it the most.
-getting maximilian's address
-late night conversations about life and the color of my recent friendships with Amy doll
-catching up with diane.
my favorite thing about my friends and life in general now is how i can actually feel the spirit when we are just talking about things--missions, writing the boys, growing up and getting married...
Thanks to summer 08 and Ben Larson I have learned better than to read into it too far, but i do know that the church is true and that missions are the right thing for my friends to be doing now.
And on the other hand, some things just feel right sometimes, I don't know.  I still have a lot I need to and want to do for me in the next two years.  It's nice to know I'm finally moving forward.
I always have my memories, and my ideas about life when i get doubtful.  
I think i was right :)
I'm glad that i grew up, I'm glad summer 08 happened the way it did; however, i never want to be that stupid again.  Sometimes the grass really is NOT greener on the other side.  It's perfectly green on your side where it's easy to get.  Sometimes even too easy which is why we overlook it and I'm sorry but i was stupid.  I learned now and I'm glad i didn't ruin things over it.
Sometimes you need to fall on your face to see where you are at.  I needed to.

i love everyone that helped me get this far and I am thankful for the true blue friends I finally managed to get, mainly Amy, Maximilian, Dallin, Kaitlin, Diana, Cody, and Saychelle, but there are also all the people who were filler friends.  not in the sense that they were fluff and don't matter, but in the sense that they got be through the rough spots and keep me going.
I think i probably own them the most.

thank you to everyone who never gave up on me and always talked to me and made me feel good about myself when i let boys or other friends take way more energy from me than they deserved.

If you never know misery you can't know happiness.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

paper chains

countdowns:

Summer 09
November 2010 


Sunday, January 18, 2009

the lovers, the dreamers, and me

I miss amy doll marie benkenstein, but i love modern technology that makes talking from 3 states away just as easy as is was talking from my bedroom to the living room in danbury manor.
I'm glad i finally found some people who are true blue, and amy and bob marley are most def right.
"Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you.  You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." 
I think i finally found a few, and they know who they are <3 



Saturday, January 17, 2009

After looking at my last post.

I realized I really like words that stat with M and dont have any letters that hang down like g's and y's.  Like Minnesota.  Millenium.  Montana.  Millhouse..... those sort of things.
I started a song today.
I went to a youth dance.  lolz.  they havent changed since i was a beehive.
I just love being able to look back and see how i have benefited from the ways things worked out, even though at the given time it would have been easier and more desirable to have them work out differently.
I've pulled some pretty amazing things off for me.  I've learned a lot.  I'm just really happy and sort of sad all at once.  but it's the hopeful kind of sad, because i know this is just a part of it all.  and I know things are going up up up.