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Thursday, January 22, 2009

the more i try to avoid the internet

the more i need it.  It's like I'm an addict and it's my drug or something.  But the times i crack (no pun intended) and use it, are some of the times i needed it the most.
-getting maximilian's address
-late night conversations about life and the color of my recent friendships with Amy doll
-catching up with diane.
my favorite thing about my friends and life in general now is how i can actually feel the spirit when we are just talking about things--missions, writing the boys, growing up and getting married...
Thanks to summer 08 and Ben Larson I have learned better than to read into it too far, but i do know that the church is true and that missions are the right thing for my friends to be doing now.
And on the other hand, some things just feel right sometimes, I don't know.  I still have a lot I need to and want to do for me in the next two years.  It's nice to know I'm finally moving forward.
I always have my memories, and my ideas about life when i get doubtful.  
I think i was right :)
I'm glad that i grew up, I'm glad summer 08 happened the way it did; however, i never want to be that stupid again.  Sometimes the grass really is NOT greener on the other side.  It's perfectly green on your side where it's easy to get.  Sometimes even too easy which is why we overlook it and I'm sorry but i was stupid.  I learned now and I'm glad i didn't ruin things over it.
Sometimes you need to fall on your face to see where you are at.  I needed to.

i love everyone that helped me get this far and I am thankful for the true blue friends I finally managed to get, mainly Amy, Maximilian, Dallin, Kaitlin, Diana, Cody, and Saychelle, but there are also all the people who were filler friends.  not in the sense that they were fluff and don't matter, but in the sense that they got be through the rough spots and keep me going.
I think i probably own them the most.

thank you to everyone who never gave up on me and always talked to me and made me feel good about myself when i let boys or other friends take way more energy from me than they deserved.

If you never know misery you can't know happiness.

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