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Saturday, January 31, 2009


Baby Charlotte is the most presh.
When I was helping my Mom clean out her closet the other day we found a bag FULL of stuffed Pikachus.  Like 20 of them, no lie.  It also had some pictures of pokemon, trading cards, and about 50 little plastic pokeballs from McDonald's.  Only about 10 of the toys that came in the Pokeballs were still there.
Charlotte apparently liked this Picachu and took it over as a day bed--along with abby's bed, abby's tent, pinkerton's bed, oliver's upstairs bed and downstairs bed, the couch, and any thing soft she can get on.

0007. Peter Max

 I found a book about the pop artist Peter Max in the library.  Something about the cover drew my eyes to it, and i had to touch it.  then see it.  then check it out.

it was littered with treasures, including an entire essay!

Friday, January 30, 2009


The more I work in kindergarten rooms, and the more I read about crazy people, and the less I sleep at night the crazier I feel.
No wonder little kids get distracted so easily.  The walls in their class rooms are covered--cieling to floor--with what can only be called crap: pictures, calendars, posters, paintings, steamers, letters, numbers, number lines, animals, shapes, words, art work, fabric, and bulletin boards for hanging even more crap.  
Sure it's good to stimulate their minds, but there is such a thing as over stimulation; which has been knows to lead to seizures, fits, and even death.
Working with kids has made part of me really excited about having a family one day; however, it makes the other part of my want to get my ovaries surgicly removed so I neved have to run that risk.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


There was this fad that went around facebook
no not bumper stickers.  
thats not a fad it's a passtime
like tennis 
or video games. 

This fad was a one way ticket into one's heart and soul
via 25 fast facts.
and no piano.

i love love love stuff like this
like making lists
and the vainness of getting to write about myself is unfortunately rather appealing... 

And so it begins...

1.  I was born without a healthy fear of strangers.  I like people so I talk to them.  I think everyone is worth getting to know, they just aren't all worth keeping up with.  There are too many genuine characters in the world to waste script on posers.
2. I think art is what kept us alive.  If one thing has bridged the cultural gap, age gap, and every-other gap in existence:  it has been art.
3. I want to go to the Hoosier State.... I also want to know what a hoosier is.
4. I love stuff.  Things that other people would usually throw away or over look, that stuff makes me.  Even my own old stuff--I could spend days looking through boxes of old things.  If you ever take me to a flea market, you better have all day.
5.  Pinkerton is Perfect.  Dog and album.  Nuff said.
6. "I feel like I've been asleep for most of my life" -Claire, Elizabethtown.  I think summer 08 was when my alarm clock went off, the 7 week break was when I hit the snooze button, and this past fall was when I layed in bed, turned on the lights, and finally shook of the blankets and awoke from the coma like slump I had been living if for the past years of my life.
7.  I love people really easily.  And I tell them.  I say it a lot, but i always mean it.  I'm really worried that when i am IN love with someone and try to tell them, they wont understand because I am sure I will have already told them "I Love You" multiple times.
8. I don't think I've been in love yet.
9. The mailbox is quickly becoming my best friend.
10.  One of the coolest things about libraries is the things you find in the books.  Not like facts, and stories, and knowledge but things.  Like news paper clippings and receipts and bits of cardboard and paper.  One mans trash is my treasures.
11.  I have a ton of cigar boxes.  I might not be at liberty to tell you how I got them--I got them empty though.  Don't get me kicked out of school.  I use them to keep things that are really important to me.  Like letters from my friends on missions, tithing, and head bands.  I think I might start one for things found in library books and on the ground.
12. I am terrified of the Tower of Terror.  Fitting huh?  When I went to disney land for thanksgiving 07 my sister and her friend talked me into going on it.  I asked the girl who was seating us if i was going to die.  Her responce?  "Someday, yes.  hopefully not tonight."  I also threw my gum down the elevator shaft because I was afraid i was going to choke on it.  I was hoping no body saw, but they did.
13.  I think people in general are really funny. Not like haha pwn the noob funny, but genuinely funny.  So many people are so clever and witty and hilarious if you stop to listen to them.  Especially little kids and african americans.
14.  I hope I find my place in the world before I have to leave it.  I don't know but big ambition and pro status procrastination seem like opposite forces to me.  Adding impulsion and short attention spans seem to be the ultimate K.O. There are so many things that I want to do and see and experience, and I honestly want to do them and am willing to make the sacrifices, I just forget I do a lot.  Like homework.
15.  The l.i.b. is the place to be.  This fall I learned just how lucky we are to have Public Libraries, Libraries on campus, and libraries in general.  I mean you can pretty much read any book you could ever dream of reading, and not have to pay a cent.  Call me cheep but I need to save my money for more important things, like taco bell and shoes.
16.  If reincarnation does exist, I hope I come back as Lil' Mama.
17.  I think Marshal "Eminem" Mathers is extremly talented and clever.  It's too bad he's also extremely perverted.
18. I stayed up for 42+ hours once.  I recomend trying it at least once.
19.  Sometimes I wonder if i need medication.  I took adderall when I was little and I'm not so sure they should have weaned me off of it so fast.  True: it's not very often, but sometimes things get into my brain and I can NOT shake them.  Aslo true:  It made me really weird and borderline zombie-esque.  I guess being slightly neurotic and paranoid is better than being a shell of my former self.
20. I haven't met many people I can't stand.   or even dislike for that matter, but when I do it's like, epic proportions.  I know it's my downfall, not theirs.  I'm working on it.
21. Amy Doll Marie Benkenstein was a precious blessing from above.  If anything living with me has prepared her to be a mother, and she is going to be the best mother ever if my judgement counts for anything.  She is caring, loving, domestic, and crafty.  A triple threat and a bonus jonas.  
22. I probably am a little bit legit crazy.  Like in the neurotransmitters sense... but it takes all types and at least I'm usually good for a story of a laugh--even if it is at my expense.
23. I just want to live.  Could Good Charlotte be any more truthful?  Being alive is necessary, but LIVING is  exceptional.
24.  You don't understand my people.  It took me a long time to get to where I am so please don't shake my little bit of earth I finally got under my feet.
25.  I really am a lucky girl.  I have pretty much everything I could have ever wanted and I am so grateful for it all.  Friends, family, house, job, dogs... I am seriously so blessed.


I was looking at this book called haunted Minnesota the other day and I was reading about all the places in MN that have ghosts.  
There is even one in a hotel in rochester.
After I looked through I was looking online for more information and I decided to look up Idaho Haunted places too.  
Apparently there is a ghost right on campus in Rexburg.  
A little girl got murdered there when It was still Ricks and her ghost walks from the hart to the romney.  
don't get in her way.

Monday, January 26, 2009


Today I found out one of the coolest things about the library is finding things in the books there. I found flyers, receipts, bits of cardboard, and some other things.
I got some books today about poetry, minnesota, oregon, portland, and one called 1001 albums you must hear before you die.  Its HUGE but really interesting.

some of the ones I want to listen to, or have heard a song or two off and want to hear more are:
Run DMC: Run DMC
Bruce Springsteen:  Born In The USA
The Smiths:  Meat Is Murder
Afrika Bambaataa and the Souls Sonic Force: Planet Rock--The Album
Beastie Boys: Licensed to Ill
The Smiths:  The Queen Is Dead
Dinosaur Jr.:  You're Living all Over Me
R.E.M: Document
The Smiths:  "Strangeways, Here We Come"
Pet Shop Boys: Actually
R.E.M: Green
Pixies: Surfer Rosa
Daft Punk: Homework
Elliott Smith: Either/Or
Dinosaur Jr.: Bug
Sonic Youth: Daydream Nation
Beastie Boys: Paul's Boutique
Cloutcut: What's That Noise?
Pixies: Doolittle
Deee-Lite: World Clique
Missy Misdemeanor Elliott: Supa Dupa Fly
Pixies: Bossanova
Eminem: The Slim Shady LP
The Dandy Warhols: The Dandy Warhols
Pet Shop Boys: Behaviour
Lemonheads: It's a Shame About Roy
Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes
Alanis Morissette: Jagged Little Pill
Elliott Smith: Figure 8
Gorillaz: Gorillaz
The White Sripes:White Blood Cells
Missy Elliott: Under Construction
Radiohead: Hail to The Thief
the Darkness: Permission to Land
The White Stripes: Elephant
Arcade Fire: Funeral
Franz Ferdinand: Franz Ferdinand
N.E.R.D: Fly or Die
Kanye West: The College Dropout
M.I.A: Arular

Bands to check out:
Public Enemy
The Streets
The Beta Band
The Libertines
The Beta Band
Devendra Banhart
yeah yeah yeahs
The Mars Volta
Rufus Winwright
Scissor Sisters
Amy Winehouse
The Roots
Furry Little Animals
Ryan Adams
The Strokes
Gillian Williams
Gotan Project
Robert Wyatt
The Verve
Belle and Sebastain
Lauryn Hill
System Of a Down
Queens of The Stoneage
Beth Orton
Death In Vegas
Le Tigre
Fiona Apple
Main Street Preachers
Everything but The Girl
Liz Phair
Screaming Trees
Drive Like Jehu
The Smashing Pumpkins
Pearl Jam
Rage Against The Machine
Dr. Dre

There were even a few albums I already have, but here is my long term projct for the rest of my life.  Thank you rochester Public library.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


dog of the day:
French bulldog. 

This one is named Charlotte, and she was rescued from an abusive home.  She is estimated to be 4 to 5 months old and already shows signs or trauma and insecurity due to her previous owners.
Ariel rescued her and Charlotte is now getting the love she deserves.  She also is showing a desire for attention.

I was looking for a new book to read, and i found this photography book my mom has.  I took it out to school this fall but never looked at it.  It is really interesting.  I figured just because I'm not in school doesn't mean i can't learn.
It's called k.i.s.s. (keep it simple series) Photography. Tonight I learned about box cameras, pinhole cameras, camera obsucras or something like that, kodak, SLR cameras, and the beginnings of digital cameras.  I learned about lenses, viewing sheets, developing and sizes.  Professional photography and leisure.  I learned about photography pioneers and modern day breakthroughs and  development.
Pretty neat stuff.


New York City
South Dakota
Washington DC
New Zealand

January 25 2009. 21:30

I'm pushing the reset button on life.
It's time to spread my wings and fly.

Im ready to make the changes in my blueprints i need to make 
I'm ready to be the person who i need to be.

I don't need your blessings.
I just need my heart.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

If birds flying south is a sign of changes:

I want to be in love 
I want to be one of those people who is always reading a book
I want to be sure of who I am
I want to be quieter
I want to be more sensitive to nature and my surroundings
I want to be so many stereotypes you cant label me
I want to be someone people never forget
I want to be infinite
I need to learn patience
I need to learn to speak my mind in a more professional manor
I need to not forget the things I've learned
I need to not forget where I came from or where I want to go
I need the spirit or ricks back in my life
I need rules
I need to be a nicer person
I need to help other people more
I ned little or nothing more than what i have now
I AM...
I am surprised I made it this far
I am an open book if you care to read me, I might not be inspirational or moving, but I try to be real.
I am proud to say I've never strayed too far from myself
I am finally figuring out what I want
I am really lucky
I know who Katherine Ann Fleming is
I know a lot of things I didn't know 12 months ago
I know it wasn't all my fault things fell apart so many times
I know it needed to hit the fan though
I know thats what made me grow
I know I'm really lucky

Paper chains 

Friday, January 23, 2009

a million little pieces

is a weird book.
yesterday was the one year anniversary of heath ledger's death.
:(  rip baby
you will always be william thatcher, the knight of my heart. <3

Thursday, January 22, 2009

the more i try to avoid the internet

the more i need it.  It's like I'm an addict and it's my drug or something.  But the times i crack (no pun intended) and use it, are some of the times i needed it the most.
-getting maximilian's address
-late night conversations about life and the color of my recent friendships with Amy doll
-catching up with diane.
my favorite thing about my friends and life in general now is how i can actually feel the spirit when we are just talking about things--missions, writing the boys, growing up and getting married...
Thanks to summer 08 and Ben Larson I have learned better than to read into it too far, but i do know that the church is true and that missions are the right thing for my friends to be doing now.
And on the other hand, some things just feel right sometimes, I don't know.  I still have a lot I need to and want to do for me in the next two years.  It's nice to know I'm finally moving forward.
I always have my memories, and my ideas about life when i get doubtful.  
I think i was right :)
I'm glad that i grew up, I'm glad summer 08 happened the way it did; however, i never want to be that stupid again.  Sometimes the grass really is NOT greener on the other side.  It's perfectly green on your side where it's easy to get.  Sometimes even too easy which is why we overlook it and I'm sorry but i was stupid.  I learned now and I'm glad i didn't ruin things over it.
Sometimes you need to fall on your face to see where you are at.  I needed to.

i love everyone that helped me get this far and I am thankful for the true blue friends I finally managed to get, mainly Amy, Maximilian, Dallin, Kaitlin, Diana, Cody, and Saychelle, but there are also all the people who were filler friends.  not in the sense that they were fluff and don't matter, but in the sense that they got be through the rough spots and keep me going.
I think i probably own them the most.

thank you to everyone who never gave up on me and always talked to me and made me feel good about myself when i let boys or other friends take way more energy from me than they deserved.

If you never know misery you can't know happiness.

Monday, January 19, 2009

paper chains


Summer 09
November 2010 

Sunday, January 18, 2009

the lovers, the dreamers, and me

I miss amy doll marie benkenstein, but i love modern technology that makes talking from 3 states away just as easy as is was talking from my bedroom to the living room in danbury manor.
I'm glad i finally found some people who are true blue, and amy and bob marley are most def right.
"Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you.  You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." 
I think i finally found a few, and they know who they are <3 

Saturday, January 17, 2009

After looking at my last post.

I realized I really like words that stat with M and dont have any letters that hang down like g's and y's.  Like Minnesota.  Millenium.  Montana.  Millhouse..... those sort of things.
I started a song today.
I went to a youth dance.  lolz.  they havent changed since i was a beehive.
I just love being able to look back and see how i have benefited from the ways things worked out, even though at the given time it would have been easier and more desirable to have them work out differently.
I've pulled some pretty amazing things off for me.  I've learned a lot.  I'm just really happy and sort of sad all at once.  but it's the hopeful kind of sad, because i know this is just a part of it all.  and I know things are going up up up.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


the thing i love most about american apparel is that they tell you everything you need to know on their website to make their clothing, belts, and scarves.  The fabric used, the dememsions, even the finish on the edges.
I just love being home and having access to my mom sewing machine and sewing abilities again.  I'm lucky I guess.  My mom is crafty, and i inherited some of it.

P.S school has been canceled the past two days because its so cold!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

hello friend. how are you today?

lately I have ben disappointed in:
the weather
speed racer
martian child
my room cleaning progression

I learned a lot about myself these past few days, like where my breaking point is and how much respect I have for those that are so much stronger than me.  God bless.

I wrote maximilian today, he needed to hear the latest happening in my life.  damn cat.

im starting my project
im cleaning my room
im finding/creating a mural.
im getting steps
im growing out my hair
im working out

...the mainland misses you <3

Monday, January 12, 2009

woke up.
drove my mom to work.
got ready for work.
job canceled.
straightened my hair too see how long its gotten.
its gotten long.
took the dogs out.
player with pinkerton.
took a nap.
woke up by pinkerton whining.
picked her up onto the couch.
fell back asleep.
woke up and called my mom.
roads too bad to go out to lunch.
made soup.
cleaned the kitchen a bit.
talked to amy online for hours.
went downtown got my last rabies shot.
went upstairs got antibiotics for cat bite.
out to eat.
saw my ex.
wrote max about my cat bite.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I still cant believe how hard abby bit me and my mom last night.  Ill take a picture to document the damage done to my leg.  she is satans kitty for sure!
today we got a new baby gate for the dogs.

heres hoping...

Friday, January 9, 2009

Im not even going to make it through these next two years

tonight as i was playing video games and checking my e-mail, i heard the familiar sound of oliver crying in the kitchen.  My mom asked me to put charlotte in the kitchen  to keep him quiet, like we did last night--and it worked great.  So after charlotte had been in there for about an hour i heard the worst, most terrifying sound ever.  If dogs could scream like humans,  this would have been the most blood curtaling scream ever.  
I ran upstairs preparing myself for the worst:  "Oliver snapped and attacked her..."  but that wa not the case.  Charlotte had tried to squeeze thorugh the puppy gate, on the skinniest slot--the one right next to the wall and had got stuch at her neck.  She was freaking out and yanking her head around and trying to free herself, which only made the problem that much worse.  By the time I got to her she was already almost twisted over upsidedown.  I flipped out an started screaming for my mom becuase i just didn't see how her head could fit back through the tiny opening.  It was really pretty easy, we jus had to pick her up to the top where the opening got wider and pull her out.
To make all this a million times worse, abby was there in the hall with us, went completly ballistic, attacked me and my mom both so bad that we were gushing blood, and now on top of rabies shots, i need to get a tetnis shot.
I might not even make it to max's homecoming, but I will try my best.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

today is huhot day! :)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail, when it comes I want to wail MAIIIILLLL!!!

This week I got a letter from Maximilian AND Dal Pal.  Both sent me pictures too :)
I'm writting Dallin as we speak, and I already bundled up Maxy's little letter and sent it lovingly on its way.  Ima also write Taylor now that I know the secret ways of Mexican Postal Services.

So yesterday I had the overwhelming privilege to work at Mayo High School, and this, among many others, was one of the priceless conversations I got to hear.  I will first set the scene up:

There were 3 black girls sitting on one of the heaters in the foyer--the one the kids always sit on when they are waiting for a ride--they were all wearing either kicks or boots (with the fur) and were talking on their side kicks.

One of the three girls was talking on her phone to a friend and was trying to get a ride...
"Hey!  Where you at?"
"Can chu come pick me up?"
"Why you gotta be like that? I would never do you like that!"
"So you aint gon' come pick me up?"
"I see how it is"

She hung up (probably on them)  and turned to her friend.

"You think I can walk to my house?"
"Oh HELL no.  Your house is farther than the thing!"

So she called another friend.
"Where you at?"
"Oh Dang! get me an application!"
this was when her friend chimed in "Shoot!  get ME an application"

then they went into a frenzy about someone smacking their cousin and how she was going to beat her ass with a book.

god bless america.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

I cant believe

no one has commented on my pictures of bull terriers.  they are beautiful.

Friday, January 2, 2009

these are prefect

Can I get you anything else... the heimlic?

was one of the many questions my family was asked today, and I would have laughed if I wasn't choking.  It was only ice, so i didn't need the heimlic--I just had to wait for it to melt a little.
Regardless it was still really scary.  At this rate it really wont even matter if im stil in rexburg when max gets home because I'll be dead.
Anyways, this is what happened:  We sat down to eat and were ordering our food and drinks.  Ice waters all around, pasta for me, pizza for christine, meatloaf for dad and roast beef for my mom.  The drinks came out, and this is where my near death experience  happened.  The drinks did not have straws, which was the downfall.  Instead of picking it up to drink it I just sipped it out of the top, with it still on the table.  That worked untill the water level got too low, and i started slurping.
"Did you blow your nose into your drink?"  my mother said horrified.
"No!  I just cant reach the water anymore"  I said.
"Oh, well drink it from the other side, with your bottom lip on the backside."  was her solution.
I was skeptical, but it worked--a lot better than i expected.  That is why i sucked water into my lungs and lodged an ice cube in my throat at the precise time that our waiter arrived with our food.  At this point i couldn't even breath and was about two seconds from throwing up the two buckets of pop corn I had just eaten at the movie theater. 
When i was gasping for breath and gaging, that was when the waiter finally asked if i was okay and if i needed help.

I really need my own show on MTV. 


First of all there is all the obvious stuff,
like one day getting married
having a family
I guess eventually learning to change diapers and deal with vomit.
But, aside from all of that, there are the things I want to do for me, for my community, and for the world.
-I want to have a friend in all 50 states so I always have somewhere to stay.
-I want to go to greece, australia, london, italy, india, japan, canada, new zealand, south america, and africa.
-I want to die happy, fulfilled and accomplished.
-I want to read the book of mormon while i am home winter 09.
-I want to learn about the planets.
-I want to make a cd, write a book, and produce a short film.
-Go on a mission trip
-go to seattle, portland, boston, NYC, hollywood, vegas, and omaha