The actual compilation that is my bucket list is scattered throughout several journals, notebooks, sketch pads, and bed room walls back home; the mental version is probably lacking some of the context, but is still a pretty good draft.
I totally love each and every one of my friends, but sometimes I feel like when you spend all of your time with the same people you turn into each other. You develop the same mannerism, speech habits, jokes... I mean, it's good to have bonds and things that bring you together, but sometimes I feel like I loose my own identity to a more common one. That's not a bad thing. It's really fun to have inside jokes and things that everyone can relate to that bring us together. It makes us feel at home, and being home is very important. (In fact, we learned about coming home to the people we love today in devotional.) I don't know if any of this makes sense outside of my head...
I do however know that I am very grateful to all of my friends at BYU-Idaho (and throughout the rest of the country) and I am grateful for the way they have all helped me grow into me and figure out who I was and more importantly, who I could be. What my potential might be. I love that everyone here has been so friendly and so welcoming toward me. And I'm glad they have been patient with me when I am shy or stubborn or anxious about the future.
I'm not saying I want to stop hanging out with anyone, or that I am over my current friends. I'm just saying that I have come so far and I am eager to keep going. I love everything that I have in my life right now, but sometimes I want to know what else is out there. What else I can learn about and see and do. What else I can become.
This is a new decade. A new year. I'm 20.
It's time to do something and make something of myself. My years of being young and free are probably getting numbered and I just want to try and be the best version of me that I can be, because once you meet someone and settle down, your life is never completely your again. It's going to be new and exciting and great; however, it's also going to be shared.
heres to being infinite...